him as he heads toward me. “No, I don’t expect that. I know I don’t deserve her forgiveness. But tell me something. If you’d been in my position, what would you have done? And before you answer, remember that I know what you’re capable of. After all, I was on the receiving end.”
He grits his teeth, looking away momentarily. “After all those years, you’re going to wave that in my face again? Should I pity you? Beg your forgiveness?”
“Fuck your pity, and you already have my forgiveness. You always did. You just never wanted it. Is it because it’s harder to live with then? Is it easier to blame me somehow?”
He snorts at that last thing.
“And yes, I am going to wave that in your face because you left. You fucking left, Lucas. After everything, after all those fucking years, you walked away.”
“I had no choice after Annabel died.”
“You always have a choice just like I always have a choice.”
When he meets my eyes again, I see another side of him. The one from way back when we were kids. When we were friends.
“You know I never wanted any of it. That was our father,” he says.
“You never stood up to help me, though, did you? Not even as I stood there and took it again and again and again. How many times did he beat you? I can count it on one hand. Me? Well, I don’t need to remind you. And then what came after, what he made you do—”
“I tried—”
“You failed and I still forgave you!”
That glimpse of the boy is gone. Angry Lucas is back. “At least you were a fucking adult when I left. And besides, you’ve done well for yourself, haven’t you? Got what you always wanted? So, don’t go fucking blaming me.”
“Why the hell are you back, anyway, after all these years? Why now?”
“Would you believe me if I told you I missed you, Brother?”
“No, I wouldn’t. You’re here to punish me for the accident that left you as you are.”
“Another accident you walked away from. One in which you were behind the wheel.”
“I tried to save you.”’
“Did you? Or was it your revenge for the years you think I stood by and let him beat you. Even when it was me he should have been beating? What about what happened after? What I did to you? You must hate me for that.”
“That’s your guilt talking, Brother. But hey, at least you admit it. You’re wrong, though. I wouldn’t hurt any of you.”
“I don’t know, Damian. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and you’ve always had a hard time letting go of a grudge.”
“I have no grudge against you.”
“Not anymore, maybe.”
“That accident was Joseph Valentina’s fault. He was fucking drunk. It was pouring rain. The roads were slippery, and it was dark. You know this as well as I do, for fuck’s sake.”
“All I know is I need a fucking drink.”
I block his path. “You cornered Cristina in the kitchen.”
He smiles. “She was happy for the company. I mean, what had you done for her? Abandon her in her room, not even feeding the poor girl unless she ate with you. Who the fuck do you think you are, anyway?”
“You scared her.”
“Did I? I guess anyone would be scared of this, though.” He turns his face a little so I see the damage more clearly.
I narrow my eyes but don’t reply.
“Why so protective of her anyway? She’s got a year, isn’t that right? Isn’t she doomed to the same fate as Annabel as soon as she turns nineteen? Slightly less than a year then, technically speaking. You have to admit, it will be a poetic end. I’m surprised at Dad for thinking that up. Didn’t know the bastard had any poetry in him.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
I turn away when he grins.
“Or won’t you do it? At the end of the year? Will you betray your family and let the daughter of the man who killed your mother and sister live?”
“I thought you just said the accident was my fault. Or do the facts change as they suit you?”
“Tell me, will you betray us? Hell, maybe you’re hoping dad will die so you won’t have to go through with it.”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I? I mean, why marry her?”
“So you don’t lay your dirty fingers on her. I’m abiding by Di Santo family rules. No matter how enmeshed our relationships are, no matter how insane,