An Unexpected Earl (Lords of the Armory #2) - Anna Harrington Page 0,80
for us.”
“I don’t give a damn about any of that.”
“But I do. For you.” She pressed her fist against her breast as her heart pounded eagerly at the temptation of what he was proposing. Dear God, she wanted nothing more than to be with him! But never like that. “You finally have the life you were meant to have, the respect you’ve always deserved. I won’t take that away from you. I won’t risk it.”
He dropped his gaze pointedly down her front to her belly. “We might not have a choice if you’re with child.”
She placed her hand over her belly, as if a babe already grew there. A child to love and raise… His child.
Happiness at the thought immediately died beneath her anguish. Her hand dropped away as she whispered desolately, “I’m not that lucky.”
“I won’t let you go, Amelia, do you understand?” He cupped her face between his hands, and she clamped her eyes shut to hold back the flood of tears. “Never again. Your husband and your brother can both be damned for all I care.”
He leaned in to kiss her, to prove that he meant every word. On his lips she tasted all the love he carried for her and his steely resolve to keep his promise.
But it wasn’t enough. He wanted to rescue her, but in this, she would save him.
“No,” she whispered, clasping his wrists to pull his hands away and break the embrace that had become torturous. “It’s over for us.” Once again finished before their future had the chance to even begin. “Tonight was amazing…and wonderful,” she choked out, “and you have no idea how very special it is to be with you…to be loved by you.”
She took a step back, to put distance between them before she lost all strength and collapsed to the floor in sobs. Or worse, before she rushed back into his arms. Because if she did, she would be lost.
“But that’s all it can be—only tonight.” The distraught expression that darkened his face nearly undid her. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you about Aaron. Because I know that nothing can be done about him.”
He reached for her. “Amelia—”
She pulled her arm back before his fingers could touch her. But her flesh tingled anyway, a pain as excruciating as what she’d carried with her all these years. A ghost pain. The same felt by soldiers who had lost a limb but still felt its presence. A part of them that would always be missing yet also forever with them.
“To not have you—never completely—never allowed to love with all of myself in every way as a woman and wife should, openly and proudly, without fear for ourselves and our children… I simply couldn’t bear it! I want all of you, Pearce.” Her voice died to barely a breath. “Or nothing at all.”
Nineteen
Damnation. Pearce bit back a grimace. Amelia wouldn’t look at him. Instead she stared out the carriage window at the predawn blackness as the city passed by.
In the hour since Merritt Rivers arrived to escort them from the Prospect of Whitby, with Amelia wrapped in an old army greatcoat that Pearce had instructed him to bring to cover her ruined dress, she’d not glanced at him more than a handful of times. Judging by the way she’d fixed her gaze on the black night outside, she had no intention of making it more.
A chasm had opened between them, one as deep and dark as the night around them and just as cold.
But he’d waited twelve years for the chance to have her back. He’d be damned before he let her slip away again.
“That’s all you know about the men on the list?” Merritt prompted when she fell silent.
From the moment the hackney had pulled away from the tavern, she’d answered questions under Merritt’s gentle interrogation. He was good, Pearce had to give him credit for that. Merritt knew exactly when to press hard and when to ease back to gain the most information, and he was able to string together bits of information that most likely Amelia didn’t know were connected. That was why he was among the best barristers in all of the British Empire, certain to be appointed king’s counsel at the first opportunity and eventually become a high court judge like his father. His Majesty had no idea of the brilliant mind he’d be gaining in Merritt.
Pearce frowned. Nor how much of a troubled soldier.