An Unexpected Earl (Lords of the Armory #2) - Anna Harrington Page 0,79
That includes this.”
His kindness tore a desolate sob from her. “Even if you helped me,” she whispered, the truth of her situation both undeniable and brutal, “it’s not enough. A woman has to prove not only adultery on the part of her husband but cruelty as well. How do I do that when he’s put an ocean between us?”
She turned in his arms and buried her face against his shoulder, desperately needing the strength of his embrace and his steadiness.
“None of it matters anyway,” she murmured, slipping her arms around his waist to pull herself even closer. If she could have found a way to crawl beneath his skin, she would have done it. “Even if what he did could be considered cruelty, the divorce proceedings would be public. All of what happened would come to light.” Her hands clutched at his back, her anchor in the storm. “I’d be branded as immoral for eloping, my reputation ruined. And when society learns that he took my money and left me, they’ll all say that I deserved it. Just deserts for an upstart cit attempting to wheedle her way into the ton.” A sob choked in her throat. “I’ll be a laughingstock. No one will shop at my store. The charity will be ruined.”
Pearce said nothing. But there was nothing to say. They both knew she was right.
“Freddie will be destroyed right along with me,” she added, her whisper barely loud enough to reach him. “That’s why we hid it, never breathing a word to anyone. Freddie only has his seat in Parliament because of his connections. He didn’t buy it as everyone thinks because we didn’t have the money after I eloped. But if the men who put him there ever think that his reputation has been tainted by mine, his influence limited in any way, he’ll lose his seat. For all of that, we both had to keep my mistake hidden. But a divorce hearing…” An anguished sound rose from the back of her throat. “Our lives will be ruined.”
“This is what you meant when you told me that your brother took care of you,” he said quietly, “when you had financial trouble.”
“I couldn’t tell you the truth. Not then.” She didn’t lift her head from his shoulder, afraid of the recrimination she’d see on his face. “I was so ashamed of admitting what had happened, how stupid I’d been.”
“You trusted a man you loved, one you thought loved you.” He placed a kiss to her temple. “There’s no fault in that.”
She shook her head against his shoulder. “I can’t escape him. Don’t you see? I don’t care about the money. I’d surrender every ha’penny just to be free of him, but I can’t escape! And I can’t marry anyone else.” She sucked in a pained breath and confessed her darkest secret… “Do you have any idea how horrible it is to live day to day praying for a man to die just so you can be free?” She shuddered, the guilt overwhelming. “What kind of evil person does that make me? That I would be happy if he were dead?”
Pearce touched her chin and lifted her head gently to place a soothing kiss to her lips. “It doesn’t make you evil. It makes you human.” Another kiss, and this time, she tasted forgiveness. “But that can’t be the only way out of this marriage. We will find another one. Together.”
Oh, how she wished that were true! How desperately she wanted to claim back the life that had been denied her with Pearce.
But she knew better. She’d spent too many years desperately attempting to find a way, only to hit dead ends at every turn. There was no hope for them.
Fairy tales and wishes never came true.
“I’m married.” She stepped back, slipping free of his arms. “Nothing can change that. Divorce, annulment—both are impossible for me.”
He fixed his solemn eyes on her. “I don’t care as long as you’re with me.”
She stilled in disbelief, stunned, as his true meaning dawned on her. What he was proposing shook through her, churning and roiling. No, he couldn’t possibly be suggesting—
And she couldn’t possibly accept.
“What you’re proposing…” Grief threatened to overwhelm her. “A pretend marriage, never able to give you a legitimate heir, worried at every turn that someone would find out and your reputation would be ruined—” The grief spilled over, and so did her tears. “I’ve done it. I’ve lived that lie for years, and I don’t ever want that