hadn’t come. And now I was sitting here complaining about a job? She had lost her life. Her bright, beautiful life. Compared to that, a job was meaningless.
“I’m sorry, Parker,” I said. “I feel really dumb. I’m going to go now.”
“Please don’t,” he whispered.
“What?” I asked, surprised.
“Please don’t go. I couldn’t sleep last night, and I need some company this morning.”
I understood that. “Are you still thinking about… well, you know.”
He nodded. “I can’t move on,” he said. “Greer was just it for me.”
I nodded knowingly, looking down into my mug. “Yup. Thad was pretty much it for me, too.”
We both laughed. Same sentence, totally different meanings.
He smiled at me. “I just can’t imagine that Thad was actually it for you, Lia. That as much as you have to offer, as kind and beautiful and brilliant as you are, you won’t eventually give in to one of the men flinging themselves at you.”
I laughed again. “Flinging themselves at me, huh?” It sliced through me how untrue that was. My friends always complained about the dating scene, but it never affected me because I had Thad. A study I’d read said that women find men most attractive that are their own ages, but the women most attractive to men were always twenty-two. I would never be twenty-two again. And thank God, really. But, at thirty-five, in Palm Beach, I had a solid chance of becoming a fourth trophy wife. That was about the extent of my options.
“Don’t worry about your job,” Parker said. “I’ll give you any job you want at McCann. I’m sure it wasn’t personal, just corporate restructuring.”
I smiled sadly.
He followed me to the door, where my eye stopped on the bookcase beside it. It was filled with Greer’s second book, Other People’s Problems.
“Is it hard? Having her everywhere? Being able to open a book and hear her voice?”
He thought for a second. “I think it makes it easier. But longer. Does that make sense?”
I nodded.
“It still amazes me how she did her best work when she was so close to death,” he said.
“Her best?”
“I think so. I thought her second book was better than her first.”
I had read them so many times it was hard for me to tell. I was too close to see them objectively. “Okay. Well, bye, Park.”
“Wait,” he said. He went to the kitchen and returned with a folder. “Can you help me pick?”
“Pick what?”
“A surrogate. I haven’t told anyone else yet, and it’s a big responsibility.”
I took the folder from him. “For the record, I think this is a really bad idea.”
He grinned at me. “I know. But you don’t want kids. You don’t get it.” He paused and took the folder back, removing two sheets of paper. Then he put them back inside. “Actually,” he said, “you should read these, too. They’re from Greer’s journal.”
It felt nosy, to say the least. A sneak peek into her heart and mind when she wasn’t even here. But I took it, shaking my head. “This is weird, Parker. We didn’t even know each other that well.” Even as I said it, I knew I was kind of lying. In fact, I would venture to say that, in the end, I’d known Greer better than most people. But Parker didn’t know why.
He shrugged. “Sometimes that makes it easier.”
Easier… I had a flash of brilliance. “I will help you pick a surrogate if you’ll help me get the rest of my things from Thad’s place.”
He nodded. “Sure thing. Do you need some furniture moved or something?”
I shook my head, realizing, depressingly, that I was thirty-five years old and I didn’t own so much as a piece of furniture.
“Just my clothes and shoes.” I looked down at my feet, feeling tears come to my eyes. “I can’t face it alone.”
Parker nodded but didn’t say a word. He understood.
I texted Thad: Coming to get my stuff.
Three bubbles appeared immediately, and he said: Can we please talk? Please?
You can talk while I’m packing, but I can’t promise I’ll listen.
I knew already that there was nothing Thad could say to fix this.
I opened the door, turned, and said, “Well, aren’t you coming?”
“Oh! You mean like right now?”
“Well, yeah.”
Parker flashed me that megawatt smile of his and said, “Well, Liabelle, I guess we both have a lot of big hurdles to jump. If we’re going to get started, there’s no time like the present.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Greer
SEPTEMBER 18, 2011
I NEVER IMAGINED I COULD be so excited about meeting a