then I passed out and went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I did it all over again.
I missed seeing Martina every day when I came home from work. Even though I got work out in the morning again, I missed waking up early to take care of her before heading off for the day. It was the only part of the day when it was just the two of us.
I missed Siena too.
But I was too pissed at her to admit that to myself.
Her ring sat in my nightstand drawer even though I was seriously tempted to throw it away. When I’d originally bought her ring, I almost got one with an enormous rock in the center, along with more diamonds in the band. But then I realized that didn’t match Siena’s personality at all. She didn’t want to be covered in jewels.
So I went with something simpler.
Like her.
I knew she loved it, even if she never told me.
But then she dropped that ridiculous request on me, like it was something I could honor. She said she loved me for me, and that was supposed to include all the elements of my life, including my job.
I understood her request. I would be stupid to say it wasn’t a legitimate concern. But I was pissed she had that kind of power over me, that she could say no to me and make her own demands. I told her that was my biggest fear, having someone rule me so easily.
It left a bad taste in my mouth.
Maybe I was just being stubborn or arrogant, but I refused to change my mind.
No matter how much I loved her.
Bates sat across from me as he flipped through the pages. “Then we include a bunch of bullshit about the terms and blah, blah…” He flipped more pages. “They sign here and here, and then we’re millions of dollars richer. Piece of cake.” He clapped his hands together. “Ooh…cake sounds pretty good.”
I stared at him but didn’t listen to a word he said. My job had given me no pleasure that week. After executing Micah, everything seemed boring. It was just more money and more bullshit. With Siena gone, I was starting to feel the way I did before we met—unfulfilled.
Bates kept rambling on about cake. “I can’t even remember the last time I had cake. I only eat carbs on holidays, and there’s usually no cake at those sorts of things. Maybe I’ll have a cheat day. Maybe I’ll bring over one of my ladies and rub cake all over her.”
I couldn’t care less about his sex life.
When Bates noticed I was barely listening, he tossed the papers on the desk. “Where are you?”
“Sitting across from you.”
He tapped his fingers against his skull. “No. Where are you?”
“Just got a lot on my mind.”
“You’ve been weird all week. What’s the deal?”
“I’m not weird,” I countered. “You talk a million miles an hour. I have less to say.”
“No. I know there’s something bothering you.” He pointed at me, scolding me. “I didn’t say anything for the first few days because I thought it would pass, but clearly, it’s not going to. It’s because you miss me at the house, huh?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not even a little bit.”
“Then what is it? Everything okay with Siena?”
Just hearing her name caused me pain. I slept in that enormous bed alone without my lady beside me. I went to bed hard and horny because I couldn’t make love to her. I couldn’t go out and pick up pussy somewhere else because Siena was the only pussy I wanted. “It didn’t work out.”
“What didn’t work out?” he asked, his eyebrow raised.
“Us.”
Bates still took several seconds to understand what I was saying. “What the hell happened? You were in love and shit. What did you do?”
“What makes you think I did anything?”
His eyes narrowed, full of accusation.
I looked away, hating the truth in his gaze.
“Talk to me, Cato.”
“I’m good.” I grabbed the papers and tossed them back. “Just get these signed, and let’s move forward.”
Bates held the papers but stared at me incredulously. “You seriously aren’t going to tell me?”
“No.” Just admitting the truth to myself was difficult. I thought I had everything, and then an instant later, I lost it at all. I’d never felt so alone. Not hearing my daughter’s cries down the hallway broke my heart. Not listening to Siena sing in the shower broke my heart too. “Drop it, Bates.”
A shadow passed over his