the honor.
It has come to my attention that you are a professional director with a theatre background. As such, it seems appropriate for me to request your assistance in choosing and directing the play. It is very important to me to make this the best show possible. If you can find the time, my second-grade class and I would be truly grateful if you would volunteer to participate in this exciting after school activity.
Let me know what you think!
Sincerely,
Miss Stiles
Well, well, Miss Stiles. I’m glad to hear it seems appropriate to you. I will let you know what I think.
And then I get a text from her.
EMILIA: Hi. Sent you an email from the school email account, so please respond accordingly.
EMILIA: That is, if you aren’t too busy making out with the amazing new fiancée your son and I helped you snag.
EMILIA: Seriously though, I really need your put it in me on this play. Please input me.
EMILIA: Um. I meant that I need your input on this play. Please help me. I was changing the words and then my phone decided to be an asshole. Feel free to put it in my phone because it’s an asshole.
EMILIA: YES I’M DRINKING SHUT UP GOOD NIGHT!!!
I hold up my hand for Ryder to high-five.
“You know what? Cheyenne might be a genius. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”
Chapter Twenty
ALEX: You look hot in that pants thing, Miss Stiles.
EMILIA: It’s called a jumpsuit, and OMG don’t text me like that when we’re on school property!
ALEX: Text you like what, Miss Stiles? Your students are busy doing a super important bullshit theatre exercise, so they have no idea I’m texting you about your jumpsuit. Did you wear it specifically because you thought it would make it harder for me to access what’s underneath? Because you should know that a) I am actually capable of restraining myself in public and b) I have experience with getting women out of every imaginable type of clothing, so nice try.
EMILIA: This was a terrible mistake.
ALEX: The jumpsuit or having me here? Because asking Alex Vega to help with a theatre production is never a mistake. Jumpsuits are tricky but manageable.
EMILIA: It is awfully cute how seriously they’re taking this exercise, though.
ALEX: Well, now you’re going to have to go sit in the corner for calling my theatre exercises “cute.”
EMILIA: Calm down - I said the kids are cute. Not your bullshit theatre exercise.
ALEX: Well, it’s the only one I can remember that doesn’t involve talking. They’re actually only supposed to have a few minutes to silently draw five things they love about Christmas, but if I can keep them quiet for ten minutes while texting you, then fuck yeah theatre, am I right?
EMILIA: Yes. But I’m putting my phone away now.
ALEX: Bah. Humbug.
21
Emilia
Eat my dust, Miss Farrell.
Yeah, I watched the YouTube video she posted of the holiday show that she staged last year.
It was good.
Okay, it was very good.
Like, really impressive.
But also extremely annoying and sort of creepy because she made the kids act like little adults.
And there were so many pop culture references that only grown-ups would get.
So of course all the parents and staff are still talking about how great it was.
But guess what I’ve got up my sleeve, Miss Farrell? And—let’s face it—up my skirt, probably. Eventually.
That’s right.
I’ve got Ryder’s dad.
Also, I have enlisted Franklin to help us design the set, in exchange for my doing the dishes for the rest of the year.
But more significantly, I’ve got Ryder’s dad.
I haven’t been this aroused by seeing a man interact with kids since the last time I watched Full House. Which was three days ago. And before that, the last time was the observatory field trip.
Director Alex Vega doesn’t talk down to my students. He’s making them collaborators on this live theatre project. Giving every single one of these kids a voice and the confidence to share their ideas for what we should do for our little production.
He’s here with my class for the first time, during art period. We have him for another half hour today. Already we have decided to do our own version of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Or, as Ryder called it, “Like Muppet Christmas Carol but with people!”
I am recording everything as a voice memo on my phone while frantically taking notes as the kids call out ideas.
Alex writes the names of the characters that the kids remember and then tells everyone to