long enough, she gave a great sigh. “I can’t believe we’re leaving in only a few more days,” she said sadly.
A few more days. Lars felt his heart drop at the idea of her leaving. “You couldn’t…stay longer?”
Julie gave a hiccup of a laugh. “We couldn’t possibly afford it,” she said frankly.
Lars chewed on his bottom lip, trying to decide a safe way through the conversation tangle before him. It would have been impossible even in his first language, and having it in his third was a challenge he wasn’t sure he was equal to. He wanted to invite her to come and have Christmas with him in New York and never to leave.
While he was still trying to figure out what he wanted to say, let alone how to, Julie continued, “Anyway, it’s been really nice at the resort, but…I feel like I don’t belong here.” She sat up, trying to make sense of how her dress had been bunched up.
“Me, too,” Lars could say sincerely as he tried to sort out his own garments. His pants were twisted around both ankles, and he had no idea where his jacket had ended up.
“You?” Julie scoffed. “You’re just the sort of famous rich person that a resort like this is for.”
Lars sat up, and looked at her in consternation. “I have been pretending as hard as I can. But I…haven’t been this for very long,” he said honestly. “My parents were poor Russian immigrants to Sweden. I never really had anything until I got signed to the team just a few months ago. Suddenly, I have more money than I’ve ever realized even existed, I’m getting a green card and working towards American citizenship, and they’re putting my photograph on subway walls.”
Julie giggled. “Really? Subway walls?”
“Twice life sized,” Lars admitted. “I rode the entire city route three times in an order because it was so…ah…”
“Surreal?” Julie supplied, while he was still trying to remember the word.
“Exactly.” Lars took her hand. “I am only here because there are some contract problems with other players, and when I asked what to do with my money, this is what they said I might do.”
Julie was silent a thoughtful moment. “What would you be doing for Christmas, otherwise?”
Lars looked away. “My parents, they have died,” he said, as lightly as he could manage. “Or I would go back to Sweden and have a traditional Russian Christmas, with the most amazing food…oh, the food. I would be hard pressed to say it is better than here, but ah…the pirogi and karachi...”
Julie was smiling wistfully at him; he could just make out the curve of her mouth in the darkness. “My parents used to do big holiday meals. Turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and seven kinds of olives. I remember putting them on my fingers.”
“They don’t, anymore?”
Julie’s smile grew sad. “They died when I was little. Tom had just turned eighteen and we didn’t have any other family, so he got custody.”
“That must have been hard,” Lars said gently.
“It was. He worked so hard, gave up so much. And…he tried to protect me.”
Lars gave up his attempt to button his shirt in favor of catching Julie’s hands in his own. “Tom told me,” he confessed. “About your…boyfriend.”
“It wasn’t Tom’s fault,” Julie said immediately.
“It wasn’t yours, either,” Lars said, equally swiftly.
She blinked at him, eyes bright in the moonlight.
“I should have…”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Lars repeated.
Julie gave a great sigh and bowed her head, and Lars imagined he could see a great weight resting on her shoulders. “I feel…like I should have known better. Like I should be able to tell when someone is being honest.”
Guilt pierced Lars.
“Julie,” he said in agony.
She looked up at her, her eyes trusting.
“I haven’t been honest,” Lars confessed.
Her hands in his froze. “What do you mean?” she asked faintly.
“I’m…I’m not a bear.”
She was silent.
This was it. He had broken her trust. Once bitten, twice shy, as the song went. Whatever hopes he had for taking her back to America with him died now.
“What are you?” she asked, her voice utterly neutral.
Lars sighed. “A moose.”
She said nothing.
The silence ate at Lars’s confidence. “I’m sorry I didn’t say so at once,” he said. “I wanted to impress you, and I thought a bear was…impressive.”
Her head was bowed, and her shoulders were shaking. Was she crying? Lars wished he could go back to past-him and punch him in the teeth; the idea of hurting Julie caused such a wretched mix of regret and