it happened. I practiced my victory speech in the mirror to hype myself up before little league games. I’ve spent every day of my life working to get to this point. And now that we’re here… My body has failed me. No offense, Natalia, but I don’t think you have any idea what I’m going through.”
I stopped myself from saying something I would regret. I knew exactly what he was going through because that had been my life too. I spent the first eighteen years of my life with the same dream—to pitch in the major leagues. To eventually win the World Series. And then after high school it became immediately clear that I wouldn’t be able to do it because I was a woman.
Even though I was an elite pitcher at the high school level, I would never be able to throw ninety no matter how hard I tried. There was no amount of training that could transform my body and arm into one capable of performing at even the college level, let alone professionally. It was different than Rafael’s situation for sure, but it still felt the same: that I had been betrayed by my own body.
But now wasn’t the time to say that. It wouldn’t make Rafael feel any better. I was his coach, his friend, and his lover. It was my job to try to dull his pain, not make it worse.
I leaned over in the seat and rested my head in his lap. Not in an erotic way, like I was going to give him road head. Just trying to make physical contact.
We were silent the rest of the way home. When he pulled into Darryl’s driveway, he stopped the car and sighed.
“I’m sorry. I’m frustrated, and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”
I sat up and caressed his cheek. “Your pain must be unbearable. If the roles were reversed, I would be miserable to be around.”
“I can’t be so negative around the team,” he insisted. “I need to be a better teammate. If I can’t pitch, I can still be a cheerleader. I’m going to work on that.”
I kissed him softly on the lips. “You know what might make you feel better?”
“What?”
“Trying something we’ve never done before.”
His eyes sparkled with curiosity. “I’m listening.”
I trailed a finger down his chest. “Oh, maybe that thing we discussed trying. That rhymes with stubble celebration.”
“Double penetration—” he practically choked on his own words. “You think you can handle that?”
“I think I’m ready to do anything to make you feel better. And it would be a nice way to celebrate going to the World Series.”
He cupped my cheek and kissed me harder in the car. I sighed into his lips and felt myself growing wet. I had been thinking about this for a while, and now that the time was upon us…
But then Rafael pulled away and smiled sadly. “I appreciate the gesture, but I’m just not in the mood tonight.”
“Not in the mood to double-team your super hot coach? This really is eating away at you, isn’t it?”
“Sorry. I just don’t want to half-ass it with you. That would make a great celebration if we win the World Series, though.”
I tapped him on the lips. “Or a good way to take your mind off losing the World Series. Okay. We can wait until the playoffs are over.”
Rafael glanced into the back seat. “Besides, I’m not sure Darryl Dingers can get it up right now.”
Darryl was slumped against the car window, snoring loudly with his mouth hanging open. I smiled at the sight.
“Leave him alone. The poor guy has had a big day. He’s all tuckered out.”
Rafael laughed at the silly baby talk. “Let’s get him inside and tuck him in.”
Together, we helped Darryl out of the car and up into the mansion. But despite our laughs and jokes, my heart still broke for Rafael and what he was going through.
37
Natalie
The Dodgers defeated the Cubs in six games. It was official: we would be facing them in the World Series.
It was a best-of-seven series, just like the Championship Series. Two games in Arlington, three in Los Angeles, and then the final two in Arlington. The first team to win four games won.
There was a tremendous amount of fanfare and celebration before the first game. The entire city of Arlington shut down all day in preparation for the series. Viewing parties were held all across Dallas, Fort Worth, and the surrounding suburbs. Offices closed early. Bars were packed long