of relief.
“Did I hurt you?” I’d been so engrossed in my wrist that I hadn’t even noticed Carter move, and now he was behind me, peering over my shoulder. He was still holding the tissue on his lip, but his other arm came around me, and he gently cradled my wrist under the running water. His touch set all my nerve endings alight, and I couldn’t help pressing back just the tiniest bit, my back up against his hard body.
“Not really,” I whispered, not wanting to ruin this moment with a return to animosity.
“I didn’t mean to.” I felt him swallow hard against me, and then he was speaking again, his voice so low that I had to strain to hear it. “I go so fucking crazy around you, Raine. You’re no good for me. I don’t trust myself when I’m around you.” His voice grew even lower. “I don’t like who I am around you.”
His words really, really hurt. More than anything he’d said to me in the past. Because I knew he believed them to be true. Was there any point in me saying how I felt around him? How I’d realised that I could stand up to my biggest tormentor without backing down, and that was something I’d never imagined I was capable of? My childhood bullying had left me retreating into my shell, making myself invisible, and I’d never fought back. Yet, with him, I’d managed to stand my ground. And being with him that night, anonymous and masked, I felt freer than I ever had in my life.
I couldn’t articulate any of it, though.
“I see.” I bit my lip, willing the tears away.
Releasing my wrist with a heavy sigh, he took a step back, and then he was gone. I remained where I was for a while, just trying to compose myself. Trying to make sense of the emotions whirling around inside me. Eventually, I straightened up, splashing some water on my flushed cheeks, and re-entered the bedroom.
Carter was sitting on his bed, his laptop open in front of him and the textbook next to him. He cocked his brow in a silent invitation, his expression carefully blank. I made my way over to him, tugging off my boots and arranging myself cross-legged on his bed. His bed was huge, so I didn’t have to sit too close. The atmosphere between us was weird—it was like we’d reached some kind of fragile, temporary truce, and neither of us wanted to say or do anything to break it. My earlier, hurried search through his desk drawers had turned up nothing, and I decided to put my search for answers on hold for now. I was drained, in all honesty. Ever since Fright Night, actually, ever since this school year had begun, I’d been unable to fully relax, knowing he was there, ready to attack me with his words and actions.
“Okay.” I broke the strained silence. “Have you started working on the essay yet?” Carter shook his head, and I sighed, pulling his laptop towards me. I opened up the web browser, navigating to the CliffsNotes website. “Do you use this?” Tapping at the screen, I glanced over at him. Sprawled casually on the bed, the top two buttons of his shirt undone and his hair tousled where he’d been running his fingers through it, he looked so good that I lost my train of thought as I trailed my gaze over his body before returning to his face. He raised his eyes to mine, reluctant amusement sparking in them.
“You were saying?” His lips tugged into a smile when I stared at him mutely, lost in his eyes. Ugh. This wasn’t like me. Or at least, not with anyone else.
Clearing my throat, I forced my mind to concentrate. “I asked if you use this website.”
“No.”
“There’s your first problem.” Shuffling closer to him, I angled the screen so we could both see. “This website breaks it all down for you. It explains all these different concepts…” I typed the name of the play we were studying, Macbeth, into the search bar and then scrolled through the results. “See? If I’m not sure what something means, this is the first place I go.”
Leaning forwards, he was quiet for a moment, staring at the screen. “I thought CliffsNotes was for people that weren’t…y’know. Clever or whatever.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Just because someone doesn’t understand something straight away, it doesn’t mean they’re not clever. There’s no one way of