and we laugh because it’s funny, and we laugh because it’s a relief that we’re not the only things breaking.
Talent pulls his shirt over his head and climbs across me, lowering me onto my back. My hands hover over his bare chest, unsure where to touch first if I can’t touch him all at once. I start where his heart sails with anticipation and slide lower down his chest, and lower over his stomach, and lower to unbuckle his jeans.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, laying his forehead on mine.
Pressing my lips to his, I kiss Talent with the same ferocity he’s shown me, hoping it translates what my words can’t articulate. He unhooks my bra with a quick snap of his fingers, letting me pull it down my arms myself.
Dark gray eyes search mine before slowly falling to my breasts. It’s not in my nature to feel shy undressed, but it’s impossible not to blush under his tender assessment. Heat rises to my face for a brand-new reason when his tongue circles around my nipple. He pinches it between his teeth and sucks it into his mouth until I gasp. Cupping me in his large palms, Talent kisses the curve of my breast, brushing his lips over my nipples before returning to my mouth.
“Why are you shaking?” I say against his lips. I brush my fingers through his soft curls, and I sweep my nose along his jawline.
“Because I’m nervous.”
“We’ve done this before,” I remind him.
“Not like this.” He shakes his head, closing his eyes tightly. Talent swallows and whispers against the shell of my ear, “This is new.”
I nod, but I don’t have the experience to put these feelings into words. Fucking for me has only ever been the movement of bodies and the quickest way to make it end.
This heat envelops me like sinking into a warm body of water, and I willingly plunge to the deepest part. Drowning is the end of one life and the start of another, and I don’t want to breathe again if it means going back to any version of myself other than the one with Talent.
Talent doesn’t let me sink alone. He follows me to the depths of my awakening, where the light slowly disappears from the surface and what I thought passed as life. The water gets heavier the farther we fall, slowly depriving us of everything but the sounds of our beating hearts. Those don’t waver. They’re strong against mounting pressure. It’s how we find each other in the dark constantly.
I hit the bottom first. Talent follows the drum of my heart, taking me in his arms. He kicks off the bottom and leads me back to the light. It’s blurry at first, but the surface sharpens as the weight of the water lessens. I can see it all: a future where I’m not touched by many men, but only one.
The only one.
We break through the surface of my baptismal, and Talent says, “It’s time to breathe now, Lydia.”
All is forgiven.
I open my eyes and blink against the tears on my lashes. Talent kisses the streaks of relief streaming down my temples into my hair.
“If this isn’t real, please tell me now,” I say with vulnerability exploding in my throat. “I won’t survive if it’s not and we don’t stop. It’s … it will be too much this time.”
A small smile that looks like an example and relief all at once curves his swollen lips, and he says, “This is what I’ve been trying to prove to you all along.”
“Talent—”
He dips his head down to kiss the pulse point on my throat. The soft spot below my ear. The corner of my mouth. “Just watch me. Just feel me. It’s been here all along. I’ll show you.”
Lifting my hips as Talent drags my underwear and leggings down my legs, I kick them off my feet and stretch my arms above my head to open myself to him as much as humanly possible.
Take me as I am.
Look at every curve, take in every scar, notice the flaws because I have always and in all ways been a carefully crafted illusion. There’s not a soul from here to the constellations who’s had the opportunity to look this closely for the truth.
I’m imperfect.
I’m as human as you.
I have no excuses.
Talent lifts my leg and kisses the inside of my calf, my knee, the top of my thigh and hipbone. He falls between my legs, and I push his pants down until