Touch And Go - Aiden Bates Page 0,85
back to Seb again, and again.
“You miss him?”
“Yes, I miss him. Why do you think I’m here in my sweatpants watching this middle-aged woman struggling to peel a potato?” The video had switched. And it wasn’t just that I missed him. It was worse. I was angry. I should’ve made things clear with him from the start. Should’ve talked about our feelings, our expectations, our hopes. I was the older, more mature partner. But I’d acted like a child and let things go unsaid, to the point where he didn’t want to be with me anymore.
“What are you going to do about it?” He leaned forward, veering into my field of vision.
I shoved the bag of potato chips into his lap. “Go away.”
He wasn’t going anywhere. He shoved the bag right back into my lap and jabbed my shoulder with an elbow. “Look, I’m here for you, but you’ve got to do something.”
No, I didn’t. And there was nothing I could do. Seb had made his decision. I stared at Eli and crossed my arms over my chest. “How long are you guys going to keep this up?”
He shrugged and leaned back, kicking his feet onto the ottoman, and patting Uno by his side, like he was settling in for the long haul. “As long as it takes for you to go get Seb back.”
I waved him off. “It’s too late.”
“Too late?” Eli exhaled toward the television. “Derek, c’mon.”
“He made it clear he didn’t want to be here. What do want from me? You think I should beg?”
“Yes.” He rewarded Uno’s patient, quiet whining with a chip, and I watched the woman peel her potato on the TV.
“Shut up.” I motioned to the television and then crossed my arms. If he wanted to talk about anything other than the magic peeler and zucchini curler, then he’d have to find someone else.
Eli looked me over and let out a disappointed huff, before squeezing my shoulder, depositing the potato chip bag back into my lap, and standing. Uno looked from me to him and back again, then sluggishly got to her feet and followed her master out of the apartment with her tail hanging as low as her head. She looked as sad as I felt, and I worried if heartbreak was contagious to dogs.
Heartbreak… Now that was a loaded word. But what else could this be? It was beyond disappointment. My body ached and my chest pinched all day, from the moment I woke up to when I passed out on the couch sometime after sunset and before dawn. If I’d been any older, I’d have worried about having one of the doctors at work give me an ECG to make sure my heart wasn’t actually shattered and little pieces weren’t floating around my chest cavity in a state of suspension.
These days, I preferred solitude to having my brothers around, because being alone made it easier to lose myself in mindless TV. The infomercials were engaging enough to keep my attention, and stupid enough that I didn’t have to focus too hard on them. I could become one with the couch.
I enjoyed melding into the furniture for about five minutes before Matt walked in, uninvited.
He sat down beside me with a long, low grunt. I didn’t look up. He didn’t say a word. He was the worst of the bothersome brothers. He gave me nothing but his cold, disapproving presence that made it impossible to shirk away from reality. He pulled me into the present, and I hated it. It was almost unbearable, and my stomach curled in while my brain begged me to break the tension. But I’d helped Sean and him practically raise the five younger brothers, so I knew a thing about being stubborn, too. I could wait him out. I’d win this battle. Then he’d leave and I’d be alone with my victory. And my sadness. The way I was supposed to be.
I just had to remain quiet.
“You don’t understand what it was like!” I jumped to my feet, the potato chip bag spilling to the ground. “I had no choice! He’s the one who left, and you’re all acting like I packed his shit and pushed him out the door.”
Matt raised his eyebrows and looked me over. “I didn’t say anything.”
Of course he didn’t. He never said anything. “You didn’t have to!” My pulse raced, and I couldn’t stand still. So, I paced. “You think I don’t miss him? Because I’m telling you right now, this