room.
Knocking on Drake’s door was probably the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. I stood frozen as he opened the door and raised his eyebrows at the sight of me.
“Wow. I didn’t expect you to show up today,” he gave me a thoughtful look, “Or be conscious to be honest.”
“Can we talk about last night please?” I almost hoped he said no to my request, that he would tell me to come back later. Instead he nodded and stood aside, allowing me entrance. I moved swiftly past him and walked to the couch. I was beginning to really hate this couch, every bad thing between us had started on it.
Unlike last time, he sat down beside me and took my hand into his own. I looked down at our joined hands, and such a simple sight took my breath away. How was I going to do this to either of them? At the end of this, all three of us would walk away shattered, utterly broken.
The truth was that I loved Drake, more than breathing, more than anything, but I knew in my heart that I loved Logan too, just in a different way. I couldn’t imagine surviving what I was about to do, but I had to do it. I had to set both of them free. Neither of them deserved the pain I had caused them, and I was going to make this right.
I looked up into his eyes, memorizing them before finally speaking, “I love you Drake,” His eyes lit up with such joy I almost stopped there, “But I love Logan too.” The light in his eyes faded and he looked away from me.
“I’m so sorry that I hurt you, and if I could, I would take it all back,” My eyes burned as tears threatened to spill over. I took a deep breath before finishing my death sentence, “I’ll always care about you, but I think it’s best if we stay away from each other. All I do is cause you pain, and I can’t stand the thought of you hurting because of me.”
I reached up and gripped his chin, pulling his face back to me. The haunting look in his eyes nearly killed me, “Goodbye Drake.”
I started to stand, but stopped myself. If this was the end, I wanted closure. Still holding his chin, I pulled him to me and kissed him softly on the lips as my tears finally made their way down my cheeks. Without another word, I walked out the door.
I was still crying as I pulled into the parking lot of my dorm and shut off the car. I sat there trying to compose myself before I faced Logan. It took a lot longer than I expected, but finally my tears dried and I stepped out of the car and into the building. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of Logan’s door. I knocked softly and prepared myself for what was to come.
My heart had already broken once today and after this visit was over, I wasn’t sure there would be anything left. With Drake I had lost love, but when it came to Logan, I was losing more than just love. I was losing years with my best friend. As much as it hurt, I knew I was doing the right thing. My stomach twisted as he slowly opened the door and started at me.
Without a word, he turned back into the room and sat on his bed. I walked in, closing the door behind me. The look on his face said it all. He looked totally and utterly defeated.
He sighed before glancing up at me, “I lost didn’t I?”
I looked at the floor, “Not really. I’m so tired of hurting both of you Logan. I love you both, just in different ways. I’m not choosing him, but I’m not choosing you either.”
What was left of my heart shattered with my words, but I stood my ground. He stood and crossed the room to stand in front of me.
“I understand, and I accept your decision.”
Tears started falling from my eyes again, “I’m so sorry Logan. I ruined everything we ever had. I didn’t just lose my boyfriend, I lost my best friend in all of this mess.”
He pulled me into a tight hug, “You haven’t lost me as a friend Chloe, but I need some time before I can go back to the way things were. Just don’t give up on our friendship.