he starts shivering in the mild weather. Pixie and Dove remain in the water longer. They seem amazed by every little thing. Every few minutes, Pixie waves at me. I love seeing her so happy.
After they shower and dress in warmer clothes to deal with the chill they caught during their swim, we hang out in the living room. The women want to go shopping, but I nix that idea. With so many enemies currently in Elko, the trip will have to wait.
The Yabo ladies don’t complain. Instead, Pixie does cartwheels around the family room to entertain her brother. Fairuza cleans an already-pristine kitchen, seeming unsatisfied with the work by the maids who just left.
Dove, though, just creeps me out. I keep catching her peeking in my direction. Did she overhear Pixie and me fucking this morning? Is she acting like a curious kid? Or does she get starry-eyed with every guy she meets?
After Dove rushes to the fridge to get me a beer after I mention I’m thirsty, I realize I need space. Oblivious to what’s happening, Pixie crawls around after Future. The boy really wants to go upstairs and has been dicking around by the staircase for the last hour. When the chair was blocking the way, Future didn’t seem to understand there was access to “Up.” Now with the safety gates in front of the stairs, he’s very fucking aware of how to access his goal.
So his sister distracts him with toys like a loud popping lawnmower and a loud xylophone and a loud baby’s first drumming set. I have never hated the people in the Woodlands before. However, after they dropped off these annoying toys, I might want them dead.
But the loud shit doesn’t interest Future. He only wants “Up.” He asks me ninety times if I will help him. I suspect the kid figures “Up” will be easier for me since I’m already halfway there. Every time I look to Pixie for help, she crawls around to distract her brother. The kid is never impressed.
Only when Future starts screaming do I realize Fairuza isn’t around. I assume she’s taking a shit. Or having a lady problem. Holy hell, what will it be like to have three menstruating women in one house? Is that why Bronco often seems exhausted?
I sneak outside to get away from Dove’s glances and Future’s screaming. That’s when I notice Fairuza sitting in the grass near the back fence. Her back faces me, and I consider leaving her alone. But then, I imagine her talking herself into leaving my house. The possibility of losing Pixie pushes me to get my ass across the lawn.
Good thing too, since Fairuza’s crying. I hear her sniffling and notice her wiping her eyes once she senses me behind her.
“Do you not like it here?” I ask, squatting down to make us eye to eye.
“My children are all I have left,” she says and stares with eyes still bruised from the beating she took from the Volkshalberd. “But they were dying, and I didn’t know how to save them.”
“You did your best. It’s not as if you could stop Marks by yourself.”
“Others want what he offers. I might have been able to kill him, but his sheep could have killed me. Then my children would have no protection. We could have run away, but I don’t know how to live in this world.”
I’m unsure what to say. I consider getting Pixie to comfort her mother. Except Fairuza is crying out here alone on purpose. She doesn’t want her children to know she feels like a failure.
“What happens if you lose interest in Pixie?” Fairuza asks, watching me warily. “That’s how people in this world behave. I remember a woman at the apartment with her fourth husband. None of the other men had died. She just got bored and moved on. What happens if you do that with Pixie? We can’t go back to the Village. They called us quislings. We’re traitors to them. They’ll never let us return.”
Sighing, I have to sit down. My knees don’t normally bother me despite them both getting shattered in my youth. Yet, sitting on the fucking concrete last night left my body aching today.
“I will never give up Pixie,” I say, glancing back at the house. “If she wants to leave me, you’ll need to hide. I won’t let her go.”
Fairuza’s horrified eyes stare at me. “Your words are madness.”
Shrugging, I explain, “If she leaves me, I’ll go insane. She’s the