She’ll climb on a table if she needs to punch him.
“Mama, food,” I say, and Future whines.
His little belly isn’t satisfied with apples. They taste good but aren’t enough. Dove is so weak that she slides to the floor in the kitchen. I barely ate this morning. One big dinner didn’t make me strong enough, and Future feels heavy in my arms.
“Please,” I beg when she seems unsure.
“Show me,” she finally says and walks to the kitchen.
I rest Future on the ground next to Dove. Then I open the refrigerator where the food from last night is in a container.
“It’s cold but so good.”
“Warm it up in a microwave,” Anders grumbles. When we look at him confused, he rolls his blue eyes. “How can you not know how to use one?”
I don’t know what he sees on my face, but his anger fades. Stomping to the kitchen, he instructs us on how to use the microwave. The food container gets warm, and the smell makes even Mama’s stomach growl loudly.
Anders gets angry again when we sit on the floor to eat. Though he has many rules about how things are supposed to work, he lacks the patience to explain much.
Plus, I don’t think he likes Mama. And I sense he’s mad at me. I also wonder if he got in trouble with Bronco. I saw the way Anders looked when the president man frowned at him. He doesn’t want to disappoint Bronco like I don’t want to upset Mama.
But I can’t worry about his feelings right now. My family needs to eat. Then they can shower and put on the clothes Anders likes. Once we’re clean in the way he wants, I’m certain he’ll frown less.
We finish the smashed potatoes and vegetables. Mama says the meat is too much for Future, but Dove eats a few bites. I find almond milk in the refrigerator that Jena brought last night. We drink almost half of the container.
“That’s enough for now,” Mama tells us. “We don’t want to vomit.”
I crawl over to Dove and lean her head against my chest. Her long, wavy brown hair hides her face. She’s as lifeless as a doll.
“There’s so much sun in Anders’s yard. After our shower, you can rest outside where it’s warm.”
“The stairs,” Mama says. “Future will try to climb them.”
Frowning, I whisper, “There are stairs that go down too.”
“I can get those gate things for babies,” Anders says from somewhere in the room. I can’t see past the kitchen’s center cabinets. How does such a big man hide? “I’ll make a list of stuff you need.”
After readjusting Dove, I crawl around the center cabinets to find Anders sitting on the floor near the front door. He hides his face in his big hands until I touch his head.
“Thank you,” I whisper, nuzzling my face against his.
Anders exhales deeply.
“Do you want us to leave?” I whisper.
His blue eyes lift to study my face. “Do you want to leave?”
“I want to be with you.”
Anders exhales deeply again, seeming very tired. “I need to think.”
“Then think, blond bear,” I say, kissing his forehead before crawling back to my family.
Mama shakes her head when I return.
“Where is this shower?” she asks.
“In his bedroom. It’s big enough for all of us.”
Mama’s eyes dance from side to side as she considers such a big shower. “That’ll save time.”
I smile at her pleased expression. She stands and carries Future. I help Dove to her feet. Then I hurry over to where the bag of clothes was left last night by the Topanga lady.
“She’s the wife of the important biker man,” I explain to Mama as we get naked. “I didn’t meet her.”
Mama wants to say something negative. She’s got that look on her face, but her focus switches to the many showerheads raining water down once I turn the knobs.
“It’s fun,” I say, tugging Dove under the water. “I’ll wash your hair.”
Future starts crying when he sees the shower. He thinks he’ll get in trouble for going in the rain. Yet, his cries turn to laughter once under the water.
For a long time, we play in the shower. Dove even smiles after she sits in the corner and lets the comfortably warm water relax her weak body. Future puts his face up and opens his mouth. Proud of himself, he claps. Mama smiles in a way I haven’t seen in months.
Even though I remain overwhelmed, I’m also overjoyed to see them so happy. For a short time, I forget about