hard he was. “You don’t seem to realize yet that I like the idea of the others pleasuring you,” he whispered in my ear, nipping at my skin. “Your pleasure is the most important thing to us. Now if you told me he forced you or you didn’t like it, we’d be having a very different conversation right now.”
I blushed but shook my head. “I liked it,” I admitted. “He was sweet.”
Ian brushed his fingers over my cheeks. “Good. He won’t always be,” he warned me softly, his eyes searching mine. “He’s too dominant for that.”
I nodded a little. “He told me that, but he said for our first time…” I trailed off, remembering how he’d told me he wanted to be my mate, and more color leached into my cheeks. I hesitated, but Ian was the one who said honesty was important in our relationship, so I blurted out, “He told me he wanted to mate me.”
He arched a brow and cocked his head to study me. “Did he now?”
“I told him I wasn’t even sure about love yet, let alone marriage,” I rambled on, unable to stop the words now that they’d started. “I mean, I’m only seventeen. I’ve known you guys for two months. I care about all of you. You’re my family now. But marriage?” The word was nearly a screech as I shook my head. “I don’t know if I ever want to get married. I never really even thought about it. It was always just Mom and me. I didn’t even know what I wanted to do when I grew up. Now I’m a werewolf. I’m a pack beta. I’ve killed someone. I’m supposed to protect a moon blessed pup and bring together werewolves and he’s talking about mating me!” The words were tumbling out faster than I could stop them. “I’ve just had sex for the very first time! And what would that mean for all of you? I mean, could I mate him and then keep seeing all of you? Would that make me an alpha? Would I still be able to mate with Shannon? How would any of that work? I don’t know if I want my own pup—” Ian’s mouth cut off my babbling, his hands firmly holding my hips still as his mouth plundered mine.
“Easy, kitten.” He smirked as he released me, my chest heaving as I sought air. “You don’t have to mate if you don’t want to. You can mate twenty years in the future if that’s your wish. You can take more than one mate if you desire to, but the highest-ranking member of a mate pair will match ranks. For example, if you and Shannon were to choose to mate, her rank would then be elevated to beta unless you were to step down to her level. I know all of this is moving fast and it’s confusing, but you lead it. If you don’t want to mate, you say no. If you don’t want to announce your feelings, then don’t. If you never want pups, you don’t have pups.”
I sighed and leaned against him. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m cut out for this beta thing. I feel like all I’m doing lately is freaking out.”
“Let’s see. In two months, you’ve fought one duel as a human, saved a pup, died, changed into a wolf, trained countless hours, fought multiple times for our packmates, seen things within our pack that have gone unnoticed for years and fixed them, taken on a role as a pack beta as you learn an entire culture and pack history, saved a pup again, fought another duel and basically died a second time, and have been beholden to a goddess—all while dealing with your own struggles and, frankly, being a teenager.”
I snorted. “You make yourself sound ancient.”
“Older and older every day,” he retorted solemnly. “You’re due for some freak-outs, as you call them. And may I point out that in none of your so-called freak-outs are you worried about your own well-being? Your focus has been on how you may be hurting others and what can happen to our friendships and relationships in the future. Your focus is on us rather than on your safety. Kitten, most wolves in your situation would be railing over how they could keep themselves safe with so little training. How unfair it is that the universe has picked them as the savior for a race that isn’t even their own. You’re fretting over the