to stop showing up. Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.”
“That’s just it. I don’t want to rehash the past. What’s done is done, and I need to find a way to accept that.” I can feel my voice already starting to quiver. “I just want to stop hurting.”
My dad’s entire face crumbles like I’ve just delivered a blow. “Me too, Mags. I’ll live with my mistakes forever. I’ll carry them to my grave. But you shouldn’t have to. If I could have remained in your life when things blew up between your mother and me, then I would have. And I tried everything in my power to do just that.”
“Well, you should have tried harder. Do you realize how mean Mom got when you left? How she poured all of her energy into molding me into something I never wanted to become?”
His face crumbles. “I thought you loved modeling.”
I shake my head, my eyes firmly locked on his. “No, Dad. I was told it was the only thing I’d ever be good at, and I believed it. I was told my looks would buy my way through life, and I grasped onto that like it was gospel. I spent nearly my entire life being someone I never chose to be.”
His eyes roll up to the ceiling, and I swear they’re bloodshot, like he’s about to burst into tears. “I thought you were happy.” He blows out a breath and looks at me again, this time tilting his head.
“I am happy now, but my happiness has not come easy. I was so young when you disappeared. There were times when I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness. If my daddy couldn’t love me enough to stay, then who out there ever would? I needed you then, but I’m happy now.”
My father’s chin is quivering like he’s trying to stop his own emotions from shining through. “Are you?”
I don’t know why I want to ease his sadness, but it feels important. “I mean, I’m worried about Desmond, and I have a lot of figuring out to do, but I like that I’m figuring it all out here.”
His eyes soften. “With Desmond?”
My cheeks heat. “With Monica, and yeah, I guess with Desmond too. He didn’t have to give me this opportunity. He had no reason to trust that I would actually be of any use to him.”
My dad nods, a smile lifting his cheeks. “Sometimes an opportunity is all a person needs to move forward in life. It’s something Desmond has thanked me for numerous times. Zach too. But Desmond is the one who did the work. Just like you’re the one putting in the work now. You two don’t give yourselves enough credit. Maybe it’s a good thing you found each other.”
I let out an embarrassed laugh. If anyone had told me that I would be talking to my father about guys, I would have shot them down fast. “You’re making it sound like we’re something serious, and it’s not like that, Dad.”
He raises his brows. “Are you sure? It sounds pretty serious to me.”
I can feel myself blush even harder. “If things were serious, then I might have some clue as to what is going on in Dallas. He didn’t give me many details.” Then I realize I might be closer to information than I thought. “Did he tell you much more?”
My dad frowns. “He didn’t say much, but he didn’t have to. I’ve known Desmond for a long time. His issues with his father are… complicated.”
I think my dad might be trying to protect Desmond’s privacy. “I know about the drug abuse and his high-functioning autism. And I know Desmond tries to go see him every few months. Is this normal? For him to get calls like that?”
My dad nods. “Yes, but not because his dad’s in the hospital. It’s usually because he winds up in jail or has a problem in rehab.”
I let out a heavy breath, suddenly feeling anxious. “I just wish I knew what was going on. I hate being here, doing nothing, while he’s there.” My eyes snap up to my dad’s. “I feel like I should go to Dallas. Is that ridiculous?”
My dad shakes his head. “Not at all. He probably needs you, not that he would ever admit that.”
“Really?”
“One thing I learned early on about Desmond is that he’ll never ask for help. But when he’s offered it, he embraces it. He doesn’t turn it down.”
“But why wouldn’t he have just said