you and Kyle.”
A deep sigh heaves out of my lungs. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“What do you mean there’s nothing to tell? There’s so much tension between you two that it can be cut through with a knife.”
“Have you seen the way he looks at me?”
“Like he wants to hate-fuck you, then slowly fuck you?”
“No, like he’s erasing me.”
She stares at me incredulously. “Whoa. You’re hopeless.”
“What?”
“You’re such a great judge of character in mafia things, but you suck in the affection department, Rai.”
“What is that supposed to mean? He really looks like he doesn’t care.”
“No, he doesn’t. He just seems a bit heartbroken.”
“Because I said I would abort the baby that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t switched my birth control pills. Who between us should be heartbroken?”
“He did that?” she murmurs.
“Yes, so how about you go give him some lessons about communication?”
“That’s such a dick move.”
“Say it again for the people in the back.”
“He must’ve really wanted the baby.”
“Why would he?”
“You’re the one who’s supposed to know the answer to that question. He’s your husband, after all.”
“Don’t you think I thought about it? But I keep drawing a blank. His type shouldn’t even want a family.”
“Why not? Even the most heartless people want families.”
“Not him, Rei…” I trail off as his words about his family’s death hit me.
He saw his own parents being murdered when he was only five. His only family since then were assassins who turned him into a killing machine. He’s never actually had a family. Could that be why he yearns for one of his own?
I never thought about it from that angle. Not that it excuses what he did, but it at least somewhat explains his behavior.
“Just talk to him,” Reina urges. “Without your walls up.”
“My walls aren’t up.”
“There—they just went up now. Try not to be defensive.”
“But he’s the one in the wrong.”
“He is, there’s no doubt about it. But is the murderous tension how you want it to be for the rest of your lives? Because the lack of communication can turn toxic way too fast. Ask me how I know.”
I rub her arm, recalling how she told me all about her history with Asher. “But you’re here now and Asher proved he deserves you.”
“Kyle didn’t?”
“Not really.”
“And fucking with your birth control pills doesn’t get him any brownie points either.”
“Tell me about it.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Sometimes, I feel like he’s so close, and other times it’s like he’s a shadow I can never grab a hold of. I thought I was okay with it at the beginning, but I’m far from okay now, Reina. I feel like I’m on a constant rollercoaster ride with no room to catch my breath. How can I trust him now?”
“Talk it out, Rai.” She softens her tone. “It’s the only way for you to move forward.”
I nod even though I have no freaking clue how I should start that type of ‘talk’.
Reina interlinks her hand in my arm. “Come on, spend some time with Gareth. He came to me crying yesterday when he thought an alien took his auntie.”
“Sorry about that.”
“Apologize to the little guy, not me. If you let him play with you all day, he’ll probably forgive you.”
We head to the living room and find Gareth holding a bamboo sword and riding Kyle as if he’s a horse. He shouts as he fights the evil monster who is Asher.
My heart clenches at the sight. It’s the first time I’ve seen Kyle so carefree and smiling without calculation.
It’s a miracle that he can smile like that after witnessing the monstrous deaths of his parents. It’s even more miraculous that he can be so open with a kid.
I don’t know why I feel like something’s moving in my chest at the view.
“Look at them.” Reina’s voice is filled with awe. “Gareth doesn’t like people so easily, but he’s already making Kyle his horse. He watched Tangled the other day and the horse is his favorite character, so not anyone can be his horse.”
“Kyle has a way of charming people. Seems that not even kids are immune.”
Reina smirks, flipping her hair. “Are you telling me that or are you talking to yourself?”
“Shut up.” I hit her shoulder with mine and she returns the gesture.
I missed her so much.
We spend almost the entire day with Reina, Asher, and Gareth. My twin sister won’t let me leave, saying she only sees me once in a blue moon and that it’s the weekend anyway, so I