as he was walking away, “Pinche baboso.”
“What?” Brian asked.
“Nothing.” She smiled sweetly.
I sat down in his still-warm seat.
“Does it smell like losing over there?” Alana said. “I bet it does.”
I need to ask you a favor, I wrote, then spun my journal around so she could read it.
“Yeah? Is it not to wreck your face at this game we’re about to play? Because the answer is no. I am most definitely going to wreck your face at this game we’re about to play.” Suddenly she reached out and grabbed hold of my wrist, pulling it up toward her face. “Hold up, P-Funk. Is this what I think it is?”
She was staring intently at the watch Zelda had just bought me. I nodded.
“I know what these things cost.” She dropped my wrist and pointed at the little pileup of shopping bags just inside the classroom door. “Those are yours too?”
I nodded again.
“So what, you went on a shopping spree in the middle of the day?”
Sorta, I wrote.
“Damn, Santé. Are you Jay-Z or something?”
It’s complicated.
She let out a long whistle as she began to set up the board. “And now, after a hard day of spending money, the big man wants a favor.”
I need a party to go to. Tonight, if it’s possible.
“That’s interesting, see, ’cause I didn’t know you went in for that kind of thing. You always seemed more the lone wolf type.” She put her rook down, held it there a second, then lifted it up again and pointed it at me like a switchblade. “There’s a girl involved, isn’t there?” I shook my head. “A guy, then?” I shook my head again, more emphatically. “So it’s a girl. Nice one, Santé!” She reached out for a fist bump, but when I went to bump her back, she slapped the back of my hand hard enough to sting. “But I’m not bringing you anywhere unless you beat me at this game. That’s called stakes. I’ll even let you go first.”
But I’m black.
“You’re Latino is what you are, son. And that whole white-goes-first bullshit is straight-up racist. Now hurry up and make your move. I’m only putting three minutes up.”
I opened e4, and Alana went Sicilian—her favorite response. She also kept up a nearly nonstop monologue as we played. “They say that at, like, the highest levels, white wins about fifty-six percent of the time. Can you believe that shit? I mean, we’re looking at a world where white folks win, like, ninety-five percent of the time. At least in chess, we could create a more equitable situation, you know what I’m saying?” Both of my knights were out now, putting their symmetrical pressure on the center of the board. “And what about gender distribution? How many of the pieces up in here are women? I don’t even know what kind of genitals a rook’s rocking, but knights are definitely dudes. Bishops? Dudes. The king? Dude. Pawns could go either way, I guess, though they sorta look like little dicks. All we ladies have for sure is the queen.” Bishops were developed. Kings castled. Alana went right on talking. “Now, I know what you’re thinking: The queen’s the most powerful thing on this board, right? But you see, that’s even worse, because men are always putting us ladies on a pedestal. A woman can’t just be a person, can she? We gotta be some kind of superhero or else we’re nothing at all. Oh, you wanna play it like that?” I’d taken her queen; she took mine back. “See? That’s what I’m saying. First chance you get, you’re taking the only woman off the board. Look at this sausage party we got going on here now. It’s like a boys’ locker room up in this piece.” We traded knights and a pawn. Things were still pretty even in terms of material, but I could feel Alana building up momentum. “Speaking of which, you know what I’ve always thought was weird? Checkers. Because anytime you make it to the other end of the board, you say ‘king me’—’cause God knows you couldn’t say ‘queen me,’ right?—and that means you put another dude on top of your dude. That’s some weird sauce right there. Oh no, P-Funk, you should not have done that.” She was right; I’d let my king and bishop get forked. “So here’s a question for you: Is it harder to lose to a girl than a guy? Do you feel emasculated by my absolute dominance of these sixty-four