over my forehead. Maybe talking to Ashley about this right now wasn’t a good idea. But hey, at least I wasn’t talking to mannequins like my neighbor.
“Maybe I should go on a date with Chad first to see if I’m missing out on anything there. Or to, like, end it. I haven’t told Boston about Chad. Or Chad about Boston.” I poured the first cup of coffee and dumped a huge dollop of creamer into it. “I’m not a girl who can handle two men at the same time. And I think I really want to just handle Boston.”
“Oohhh,” Ashley hooted. “You like Boston. Boss for short. And he is your boss. Get it?”
I handed her a cup of coffee and grabbed one for me before joining her on the floor. “Yes, I get it. Very creative, Ash. Not for much longer though. So, what do you think? Should I end things with Chad?”
Ashley took a huge gulp of coffee before blinking hard and replying. “I think you should go out with Chad to see if there’s a spark. No spark, end it. Spark? Then date them both until you decide which one you like best.”
I sipped my coffee and mulled it over. It sounded pretty logical for a girl high on pot brownies. “Okay, I’ll text Chad and get that settled before I go out with Boston on Friday.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pulled up the text string.
Me: Hey, do you have time to meet up this week?
The three little dots hung there for quite some time. So long I drank half my coffee before a text came back.
Chad: Dang, I’m sorry. This week is crazy busy now that I’m back in town.
I frowned at Ashley. “He says he’s too busy.”
She threw a handful of popcorn at my phone. “Lame!”
Well, I guess I had my answer then. Surprisingly, a little thread of sadness hit me, deflating everything I’d felt coming home tonight. I thought Chad and I had at least a small connection that needed exploring, but apparently, he didn’t feel the same. Why did I feel so conflicted? I should be on a high that Boston and I were going on an official date, but part of me needed time to mourn the fact that Chad and I would never be. I’d somehow come to rely on coming home at the end of a long day and trading funny memes, or just having someone ask about my day and tell me I’m gorgeous. I’d miss Chad, at least the text version of him. I fired off a simple text, the one word meaning goodbye in my head.
Me: Okay
The three dots hung there again. My coffee went cold and still a text from Chad didn’t come in. I finally turned my phone off and put it down, turning to Ashley to cry on her shoulder. She let out a soft snore, her back slumped against the wall.
I sucked in a huge breath and reminded myself how well the opening had gone. How wonderful Boston was and how much I wanted to go on that date next weekend. Chad had just been a fun distraction. A stop-gap before things happened with Boston. We hadn’t even really been face to face for longer than a few minutes, so to miss someone you never spent time with was ridiculous.
So why did my chest still ache?
13
Boston
* * *
The high I was on as I walked El to her car, kissed her again, and then drove myself home to my condo lasted about twenty more minutes. Long enough to chat once more with my mother to agree that things had gone stunningly well, long enough to pour myself a beer to celebrate that I’d finally asked out the woman I wanted and that she seemed to potentially want me back, and long enough to be reminded in the most painful way possible that I’d been untruthful with her.
She still wanted to go out with Chad.
I sat in the wingback leather chair in my living room in the dark, facing the wall of windows that overlooked the river outside and stared at my phone as if it had betrayed me.
In reality, I was the one doing all the betraying. The only way to fix this was to break it off, to make the Chad problem go away.
The funny thing was that I hadn’t even talked to Chad since the festival. We saw each other once every couple months when we both