and introducing herself to Simpson? And obtaining her first kiss? “I can guarantee you that I spoke to no one save your sister and my brother about you coming to Hell dressed as a man.”
Her face crumpled as she sank into a chair. “It could not have been Susan,” she muttered more to herself than to him. “She would never betray me no matter how much she thought my list was foolish.”
List?
She had a bloody list!
“When you said you could scratch off numbers two and three, there actually was a list of things you were planning to do?” he spoke with marked restraint.
She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together before giving him a slight nod. “Yes,” she replied with a sigh. “And getting tossed out of Almack’s was on it. But I wanted the satisfaction of doing something there. Not much, maybe an insult to a patroness.”
Since they had both left their drinks in the gaming room, he poured two glasses and handed her one. “Why would you do such a thing, Emma?”
“Do you have any idea what it is like to have a reputation that you did nothing to deserve?” she whispered before opening her eyes and staring at him.
He sat in the chair opposite her and then sipped his drink. He knew exactly how she felt. But should he tell her that? Would it matter if she knew his secret? “I do understand how you feel, Emma.”
“How could you possibly? For the past four years, I always did the right thing, the moral thing. I even engaged myself to a man because everyone told me he was the perfect husband for me. All to be ruined by my sisters’ actions.”
“No sane man believes you are to blame for the actions of your sisters,” he noted.
“Of course they do. Reputation is everything in Society, so do not tell me how I’m wrong to want to live up to mine. For once, I wanted to be the one who did something instead of being blamed for something I didn’t do.”
“But Emma, everyone knows it was your sisters, not you. You have no idea what it’s like when the sordid name is truly your own.”
“Well, you would understand that,” she said scornfully.
“I’m hardly the man people think I am,” he started slowly. “At least half of what is rumored about me is completely untrue.”
She looked incredulous. “You shot a man in a duel. That it is hardly the work of a gentleman.”
“Unless another man lied to protect a supposed friend.”
“What do you mean?”
“I came upon Winston and Parker at Hampstead Heath. God, they were foolish young men. They hadn’t even brought a surgeon with them. Once Parker shot Winston, their seconds ran off. I’d assumed to fetch the surgeon. Parker was stunned and had no idea what to do. I tried to stop the bleeding with my waist jacket, assuming the surgeon would arrive soon. After thirty minutes, I convinced him to bring Winston to a surgeon.”
Simon closed his eyes as he spoke. “I just hadn’t expected Parker to blame me for the shot.”
“I cannot believe Mr. Parker would do such a thing. And if what you say is true, why didn’t you deny it?”
He stared down into the amber liquid in his glass with a wry smile. “Because once Parker lied, business increased. When Winston died, business boomed. Suddenly all the ton wanted entrance into Hell. Everyone wanted to see the man who bested Winston and maybe even try to win some blunt off me. I let the rumor live, encouraged it even. The lie seemed to take on a life of its own. I became the man who took innocents to his bed, seduced more widows than there probably were widows, and cheated men out of fortunes.
“Now, even if I wanted to improve my reputation, no one would believe the rumors about me weren’t true.” He looked over at her. “So, I do understand your situation more than you realized.”
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I had no idea.”
“I don’t want your pity.”
She took a sip of her whisky before looking over at him. “What do you want then?”
The seductive tone of her voice almost undid him. He wanted her. And he was tired of pretending he could stay away from her.
“I want the one innocent I can never have,” he whispered and then rose to stare down at the gaming room, away from her prying gaze.
Slender arms wrapped around him. “Who said you could not have her?”
He