from that. I pay for the drinks, and as I make my way back to the group, Felix turns in my direction and locks eyes with me. The smile on his face wraps around my heart. I think what I’m feeling for him is a lot more than lust. It’s another L-word. I thought I was in love once, but the way I feel when Felix looks at me is new. The way my insides melt when he says my name is something I haven’t experienced before. And right now, the way my dick lurches in my jeans just from the way he’s smiling at me, yeah, I’m a fucking goner.
“Here you go.”
“Thanks, boo,” Felix says, giggling.
“Not a fan of boo.”
“What should I call you?” He takes a sip from his tiny straw, batting his lashes. “You want a pet name?”
“Yeah, I do.”
"Mon petit chou?”
“What does that mean?”
“The translation is odd in English, but it is like saying sweetheart.”
“I like it.”
“Mon chouchou?” He smiles, his teeth teasing his bottom lip. “It’s even sweeter.”
“I like that too.” I step closer so Felix has to tilt his head back. “What should I call you?”
“What do you think of me?”
“You’re beautiful, sexy, charming.”
“You’re sweet. I know one word I hope you call me by morning.”
A smile pulls at my lips. “What word is that?”
“Lover.”
“Have you thought this through, Felix?”
“I haven’t thought about anything else since I was sixteen, Apollo.”
“What?”
“Let’s go dance,” Genesis says, pulling Felix’s arm, and interrupting the conversation.
I watch him go in stunned silence.
“What happened to you, man?” Luca asks.
“Um, nothing. I’m just…” Suddenly it hits me. All the looks and blushes when he was younger. The questions he would ask me about my type and how to date. Following us everywhere wasn’t just about hanging out with his older brother. It was about me. My heart swells in my chest. All this time Felix had a crush on me. I was just too thick to see it sooner. Maybe I just couldn’t see it until I had my eyes opened. I wasn’t ready to see Felix as more than Lucien’s little brother back then.
“Apollo?”
I blink at Luca. “Sorry. I was...thinking.”
“You okay?”
“Definitely. I’m really good.” I take a sip of my drink. “Don’t worry. Go dance with your guys. I’m good.”
“Yeah, okay.”
Luca saunters off, leaving me in my thoughts. I glance around the club, watching the tables fill up with our friends, finding myself between Jude and Grey. Tate and Nix show up and head out to the dance floor. Grey is with a friend chatting quietly while Jude is ordering bottle service for the table. When he’s done, and Briar goes to dance with the others for a few minutes, I take the opportunity to get a burning question out of me.
“Can I ask you a super personal question, Jude?”
He chuckles. “Sure. What’s up, man?”
“You mentioned before that you thought you were straight before you fell for Briar.”
“Right.”
“So, um, when you got to the physical part, how did you know what to do?”
“Ah. A combination, I guess. I watched porn, read some articles, but mostly I let Briar lead the way.”
A flutter rolls through me. Yeah, I gotta let Felix take the lead.
“You, uh, thinking about hooking up with someone?” Jude asks.
“I want to date Felix.” Fuck, that felt amazing to say aloud.
“Cool. Briar says he’s awesome.”
“He is.”
“Are you worried about the physical stuff?”
“Not worried. I want to. I mean, I really want to, but I guess I’m worried about how to start and if I won’t be good at it.”
“I get it. To me, it’s about trust. If you trust the person you’re with, then it’ll be great. Briar knew I didn’t have experience with men so he was patient and let me go at my pace, which was all the way. Kind of how I do shit.”
I laugh, sipping my drink. “Not to get too personal, but um, I’m kind of looking forward to letting someone else lead for a change.”
“Yeah, it’s fucking nice. We’re pretty equal now. I’ve learned what I like and how to please him. I’ll tell you one thing, it’s amazing. It’s like discovering a universe you didn’t know existed. I was hooked immediately. Still am.”
“That sounds awesome.”
“Yeah. I hope it works out for you and Felix.”
“Me too. It’s a risk. He’s Lucien’s brother so if it didn’t work- awkward.”
“For sure. Briar was my best friend. It was a risk, but it paid off. Sometimes you just have to jump in head first.”
“Right. Thanks