Tell Me - Ashe Barker Page 0,63
are you doing here anyway?”
“He got a picture too. Home delivery.” Tony hadn’t intended the words to be as stark as they sounded, nor his tone so bitter. He put it down to sheer mind-numbing relief that she seemed to be okay. Sort of.
“Oh God!” Thea turned to bury her face in the pillow, sobs racking her body.
Perhaps not okay exactly. Tony abandoned his attempt to lift Thea from the bed in favour of climbing onto the mattress alongside her. He wrapped his arms around her and hung on, even as she tried to shake him loose again. After a few attempts she gave in, turned, and grabbed handfuls of his T shirt in her fists. She clung on, weeping against his chest as Tony caressed her back and shoulders, muttering nonsense into her hair.
For several minutes the only movement in the room was Stephen as he went about the business of clearing up. He picked up each of the white tablets strewn across the carpet and put them back in the bottle, then shoved that into his trouser pocket.
Tony believed Thea’s account of what had happened, but even so there was no point tempting fate. He watched as Stephen picked up the largest of the fragments of glass and wrapped them in newspaper before hunting round for Thea’s vacuum cleaner. By the time the older man was finished no trace of pills or broken glass remained. Stephen came to sit on the edge of the bed.
“I think we all need a cup of tea, and a chat. I’ll see you both out there.” He gestured to the living room. “We need to work out who has it in for our Thea here.”
“Right. We’ll be there in a minute.” Tony shifted to cup Thea’s face in his hand again. “Are you ready?”
“Not really.”
“I know, but we do need to talk. About what happened here, before we arrived. And about what to do next.”
“What can we do? It’s happened, and…”
“We’ll get to that. But first, pills aren’t the answer. I need to hear you say that.”
“I know that. I just intended to get a few hours’ sleep. I’m pissed off, hurt, embarrassed. Humiliated to the core. But suicidal? No.”
“You swear.”
“Yes. I swear.”
“So, what did happen? Why didn't you answer the door? How come you’re cowering in your bed with your coat on?” His tone had gentled, but Tony wasn’t backing off. He would have this out, here and now. He preferred to deal with it just the two of them, though he would have no compunction about enlisting Stephen if need be.
Thea drew in a long breath, then lifted her gaze to meet his. Her face was ravaged, red and blotched by tears, but he detected the remnants of the brave, determined sub he knew so well. She was coming back to him.
“I got home, and I wandered around the flat for a while. I don't know how long. I never even thought about taking my coat off.”
“Go on.”
“I was so miserable. It felt—hopeless. And I was ashamed, ashamed of what I’d done. What I was. Am. And that everyone knew.”
“I’m letting that remark go for now, because I want to hear this, to understand. But you know what I’m going to say, and do, about that eventually. Don't you?”
“It’s different for you. You’re so, so—outgoing. You don’t care what anyone thinks. I do. I always have.”
“You’re wrong there. I do care what others think. I just don't let other people’s opinions rule my life. I make my own choices, and as long as I harm no one, I have nothing to reproach myself for. Neither do you. What has happened is a gross invasion of your privacy. Our privacy. We’re the victims here, we’re not the ones in the wrong.”
Thea nodded, but without conviction. Tony pressed home his point.
“You feel wounded, damaged. I get that, I do understand. You’ve been hurt. So have I, but not nearly so much as you. But we will get past this. Together. We hold our heads up, and we answer questions if we choose to. Or not. Our choice.”
“I’m not sure I can. Hold my head up I mean. Face people.”
“You will. I know you will. Even if I have to put a posture collar on you.”
“You wouldn't.”
“Don’t test me on that, little sub. I prefer not to though. I like the collar you have.”
As if reminded of her status in his life Thea fingered the delicate gold and leather chain around her neck.