Tarnished Knight - By Bec McMaster Page 0,60
with Honoria. She informed me that you overheard us yesterday.”
Heat bloomed in her cheeks, leaving her tongue-tied. The fury of emotion stole every last wit. What could she say to this man? Her brother. An older brother she’d never known she had.
As if sensing the turmoil of her thoughts, he stood in front of the sofa opposite her and merely stared back, inscrutable thought dancing behind those dark brown eyes.
“I’m sorry the truth upset you,” Leo murmured. “You should know that I’ve borne my own share of sleepless nights since this entire drama unfolded.” He glanced down, at his cupped hands. “I would never have wished this curse upon Charlie if I’d known of the consequences of my actions. You have every right not to forgive me. I'll never forgive myself.” At that he looked up again. “Although I should very much like to know you. You look so like Honor – and yet not. I used to watch you on the edges of the Echelon and wonder what you were like. You seemed so full of life and laughter.”
“Once,” she whispered, drawing her knees up to her chest. “A long time ago.”
Turning aside, he paced to the window and stared out of it. “I have another confession to make, though it loathes me to admit it. However, it seems secrets have a way of coming back and... creating havoc." A bitter smile twitched at his lips. "Your sister begged for my help when you first came to Whitechapel and I turned her away. I was afraid the Echelon would discover our connection and I—I did not understand the straits you were all in. Yet another decision I wish I could change.” This time his lips thinned, faint light staining his profile as he stared out at the rain. “But I can’t. I can only offer my deepest apologies for what you have all suffered. And I know it’s not enough, but I promise I shall do all within my power to make sure you never suffer again.”
"Why are you apologising?"
"You did throw a brick at me," he replied.
Lena pushed herself upright, smoothing out her skirts as her cheeks heated. She ignored the look in his eyes. “Honoria asked for your help?” She must have been desperate for money indeed. At the time, Lena had been so focused on her own misery and her brother’s illness, that she had not perhaps, truly understood what her sister suffered.
“She asked for money when she lost her place of employment. I said no and so she made a thrall contract with Blade.” His voice trailed into silence, then he admitted quietly. “I spent most of my childhood hating Honoria. Perhaps a small part of me was relieved to see her suffer, just a little bit.”
“That’s a terrible thing to say.”
“Yes, I know. A terrible thing to think.” Leo stared into the distance. “The duke has had me for so long that sometimes I fear I begin to think as he does. And that frightens me more than anything else in this world. That he has finally succeeded in remaking me in his image.” He trailed a finger along the window ledge. “It was perhaps the dash of ice water to the face that I needed and so I tried to misdirect Vickers when he was searching for you. I laid several false trails and made sure he didn’t know where you all were. It cannot atone, but… I tried. The idea that she has forgiven me for any of it still astounds me.”
“Why did you hate her?”
Leo gave her a frank look. “Your father never gave a damn about me. But he adored his daughter. They lived beneath the same roof and every time I saw them together, I wanted so badly to trade places with her.”
“But you’re the heir to a duke.”
He gave a faint, slightly bitter laugh. “I would have traded it all to have a father who didn’t see a bastard every time he looked at me. To have a family.”
Lena drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them. He looked so lonely for a moment, staring into the distance and playing with the gold ring on his finger. “You have a family,” she said. “You have us.”
She saw immediately that he didn’t believe her. But he nodded slowly. “You are too kind. But you must know that I can’t be the brother you wish me to be.” He held up a hand when he