been worthy all along. He had a place in this group of men. He wasn’t the somber leader like Logan or the easygoing bad boy like Cru or the sophisticated charmer like Holden or the tough hero like Lincoln or the playful jester like Sawyer. His place was the caring nerd. And there was nothing wrong with that.
The problem was trying to be something he wasn’t.
He shook his head. “I’m not cool. It’s all been an act. I’m not this jet-setting playboy. I hate traveling. Flying scares the hell out of me. I have absolutely nothing in common with the models and actresses I’ve dated. And while writing psychological thrillers has paid the bills and then some, I don’t enjoy doing it. Just like I don’t enjoy living in New York City. I have no real friends there and my apartment is as cold and uncomfortable as a prison cell.”
Everyone exchanged surprised glances before Holden spoke. “Umm . . . okay. So what do you want to do?”
It only took a moment for Val to answer. “I want to be myself.”
Chapter Twenty-One
It wasn’t easy releasing one dream and chasing after another. Especially when there was a possibility she would be left with no dream at all. Numerous times in the last twenty-four hours, Reba had wanted to give up on the new dream and stick with the old familiar one.
Fortunately, her grumpy old aunt wouldn’t let her.
“Make sure you pack your long johns,” Aunt Gertie instructed. “Those New York winters are colder than a tin toilet seat in Alaska.”
“I don’t have any long johns.” Reba placed a stack of underwear in her suitcase. “And how do you know how cold New York is? You’ve never been out of the state of Texas.”
“I watch the Today Show and those tourists who come to the show are always all bundled up like they’re freezing their butts off. Why anyone would stand out in the freezing cold for a chance to be on television is beyond me.” Aunt Gertie unbuttoned the cardigan sweater she had on and took it off. “Here, take this. I have plenty.”
The sweater wouldn’t fit Reba, but she took it anyway. Not only because she didn’t want to be rude, but also because the sweater held the scent of her aunt—arthritis ointment, garden soil, and Butler—and would give her comfort. Aunt Gertie wasn’t the only one who had never been out of the state of Texas. “Thank you, Aunt Gertie. Thanks for the sweater and for allowing me to do this.”
“I’m not allowing you to do anything. You’re a big girl who can make her own choices. Just like I’m a big girl who will be just fine without you.”
Reba had always admired her aunt’s strength and independence. But in the last few weeks, Reba had learned that independence wasn’t always a strength. Especially if you thought being independent was doing everything by yourself. Sometimes you needed help.
She folded the sweater and carefully placed it in her suitcase, then she sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, Aunt Gertie.” She should’ve known her aunt would ignore her and keep standing.
“I’m not a dog, Reba Gertrude. If you have something to say, say it.”
Reba took a deep breath and tried to find the words that wouldn’t set her aunt off on a tangent. She finally decided that no matter how she said it, Aunt Gertie wouldn’t like it. So she gave it to her straight.
“You aren’t a spring chicken anymore, Aunt Gertie. I know you planned the entire heart attack thing to get me and Valentine together, but you have fallen twice in the last six months.”
“Because some idiot kicked up the rug and didn’t smooth it down. And the last time, I didn’t fall. I plopped. There’s a difference.”
Reba tried not to roll her eyes. “Okay, but when you . . . plop, you need to have someone around to help you get back up. While I’m gone, Mike said he’ll make sure to keep an eye on you. And I intend to ask my friends to take turns stopping by every day.” She’d been so busy making flight arrangements and getting everything at the boardinghouse squared away with Mike that she hadn’t told any of her friends she was headed to New York. Not even Evie. She planned to tell them tonight at the Halloween party. Something she needed to start getting ready for.