I do have two issues of Cosmopolitan and People magazine.”
A smile almost curls my lips, but I hold it back with self-control, willpower, and years and years of acting experience. “Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” I take the beans and corn off the fire, putting three steaming servings of each onto reusable plates.
Bailey bounces around on his paws, his excitement visible, but I know better than to let his eagerness get the best of me. I guess in some ways, Billie and Bailey have a few things in common. “Sit down and chill,” I tell the canine. “This food is too hot to gobble like a heathen.”
He grumbles a sigh but obeys, lying back down and putting his big head between his paws.
Billie giggles again—please stop that—and rubs her fingers between his ears. “You’ll get some soon, Bubby.”
Bubby. Of course, she’d come up with some prissy nickname for my dog.
He loves it, though, the bastard, looking up at her with happy eyes and a wagging tail.
It doesn’t take long before we’re all sitting around the fire, eating our food, and Billie opens up one of her stupid magazines.
“Are you sure you don’t want something to read?” she inquires.
“Positive.”
“But you could find out the ‘Top Ten Hottest Things a Woman Can Do with Her Tongue’ in this issue,” she peddles, holding up one of her issues of Cosmo in the air. “I bet it’s pretty interesting.”
I shake my head. The only way I’m going to find out the top ten hottest things a woman can do with her tongue is by having her fucking do them. I need to read about that shit with a woman I can’t touch ten feet away like I need a hole in the head. “I’m good.”
“It also has the ‘Top Ten Things that Annoy Men’ in here, too,” she keeps trying. “I wonder if I mark all of those things off your list.”
I laugh. I’m sure it does—her list of annoying behaviors is a whole lot longer than ten.
“Fine,” I say. “You convinced me.”
She grins and hands the magazine over to me.
But the damn thing is a hell of a lot heavier and thicker than I’d expect. When I open it up, the cause of the increased weight is clear. Tucked inside, a stack of white sheets of paper sits right in the middle.
“What is this?” I ask and look over at her.
“A magazine for you to read, obviously.”
“Funny. Sure looks like a screenplay on the inside.”
“Really?” She feigns confusion. “Are you sure about that?”
I narrow my eyes. “It literally says the word screenplay on it, Billie.”
“Hmm…that’s strange. Maybe the magazine made a mistake. How about you read it and see?”
Goddamn, this woman. She just won’t give up, will she?
“I’m not reading this fucking screenplay. Not today, not ever.”
“But why?” she questions on a sigh. “Why won’t you just read it to see if you like it? What’s the worst that could happen? You actually end up liking it?” she challenges. “It’s not a snake. It won’t bite.”
I look down at the screenplay and then over to the fire, and she follows my eyes.
“Luca Weaver! Don’t you even think about it!”
Damn, that’s tempting. A little too tempting…
I meet her eyes, and she points her index finger at me.
“Don’t you dare toss that screenplay into the fire…or…or else,” she scolds.
“Or else what, princess?”
“Or else I will stick this furry, booted foot…right here—” she lifts one slim leg into the air “—straight up your ass. It’ll probably make the trip miserable for both of us, but I’m willing to do the one-legged shuffle for the cause.”
I reel in my anger and toss the screenplay her way. It hits the dirt with a soft thud, and she glares at me. “You jerk.”
I shrug and take a bite of corn.
“And what about my magazine?” she questions with a hand to her hip. She nods her eyes down toward the issue of Cosmo that’s still in my lap. I keep a tight hold on it, just for revenge.
“This, I’ll read.” I shove a forkful of beans into my mouth and nod toward the screenplay again. “But that and your pushiness can go right to hell.”
Billie
If bears need food, I’ve got a big ole stack of papers that aren’t getting used for anything else. I pick up the screenplay Luca just threw from the ground and dust off the debris of dirt and grass and leaves. He sits across the fire, eating his plate of beans and corn, reading my Cosmo