“Don’t regret it.” His voice was low and husky. Hypnotic. He stepped toward her and she meant to step back—she really did—but something in his gaze held her captive. “Don’t tell yourself it was a mistake.”
Her eyes about popped out of her head. “Are you nuts? Of course it was a mistake.”
“Not to me.” He reached out and twirled a loose strand of hair around his finger. “Invite me inside, Maddie. Invite me to your bed. I want to touch you again, make you come again.”
Catching herself swaying toward him, she stiffened. “No. No,” she repeated louder. Firmer.
Oh, but she was tempted. Beyond tempted. She was ready to throw away self-preservation and toss aside her pride just for the chance to be in his arms again. How weak was that? But that’s what he did, what he’d always done. Made her forget herself. Made her forget everything but him.
“Look,” she said with a sneer, “don’t get a big head about—” She waved her hand vaguely. “What just happened. I haven’t had sex in a long time, that’s all.”
“So the only reason you kissed me that way, responded to my touch was...what? Repressed hormones?”
“Pretty much.”
One side of his mouth kicked up. “You’re lying again. Or maybe you just want me to prove you wrong.”
He reached for her and she practically leaped back, afraid it would be oh, so easy for him to do exactly that. To prove she was nothing but a liar. That she still wanted him.
Anger sparked, bright and hot, inside her chest. He had no right to push her this way. To use her own weakness against her. Not when he’d already hurt her so badly.
“Since when has it mattered to you what I want?” she asked quietly, her pulse drumming in her ears. “I wanted you to love me. To be faithful. When I told you I was pregnant, I wanted you to promise you’d stay with me forever.” Her voice grew louder, the words bursting out in a heated rush. “Damn it, you were supposed to stay with me.”
Neil went so still, she wasn’t sure he was even breathing. “What do you mean, I was supposed to stay with you?”
The secret she’d kept all these years ballooned up inside of her, threatened to explode, to tear her life apart. Worse, to tear her daughter’s life apart.
But what had happened between her and Neil tonight proved how important it was for her to break free from him once and for all. They’d been connected too many years, tied together through their shared past, her friendship with his sister and, most of all, through Bree.
If Maddie got close to him again, if she was foolish enough to trust him again even with only her body, she would lose a piece of herself. And this time, she might not be able to get it back.
She couldn’t let that happen. Wouldn’t.
“I loved you,” she whispered, linking her fingers together at her waist. Love had been her driving force, her only motivation. It was a good reason, she assured herself. An honorable one. Understandable even.
But he hadn’t wanted her love. Whenever she’d told him how she felt he’d looked overwhelmed, as if her feelings were something to be tolerated. Or worse, endured.
“I thought we were meant to be together forever,” she continued. She’d been so young, so hopeful. So sure that what she was doing was right. “I figured after you graduated high school, you’d commute to one of the colleges in Pittsburgh. That you’d play for the Otters for a few more years.”
From the time Neil was fifteen, he’d played on the Erie Otters, a team in the Ontario Hockey League. Though it’d meant a lot of traveling, it’d been a way for him to develop as a player and garner the attention of the NHL.
“You knew my goal was always to play professional hockey,” he told her, walking over to swipe up his shirt. He yanked it on, grabbed his wallet and shoved it into his back pocket. “I never kept that from you.”
“No, you made it very clear what your dreams were. Believe it or not, I didn’t want to keep you from achieving them, I just wanted them...postponed...I guess. I thought if you waited until I graduated to enter the draft, I could go with you when you got picked up.” She began to pace, rubbed her hands over her chilled arms. “But then the scouting midterm ratings came out and you were listed as