few weeks, so I swipe to answer. “Hello?”
“You’re up early,” my mom’s voice croaks through the phone line. “I was just going to leave you a message.”
“Yeah…I…couldn’t sleep,” I murmur, running a hand through my hair.
“Well, it’s nice to hear your voice. How are you?” she asks, and I hear the flick of her cigarette lighter in the background.
“I’m good…are you on your way to work?”
“Yep…gas stations do not close on Sundays no matter how badly I want them to.”
“I suppose not.”
She takes a long drag and asks, “How’s that little girlfriend I see you posting pictures of all over the internet?”
“It was one picture, Mom.”
“Whatever…she’s your girlfriend, though, right?”
“Yes.”
She huffs a knowing tone. “You must be hiding her from me.”
“What?” I snap, irritation prickling my scalp. “I’m not hiding her from you. Why would you say that?”
“Because I’ve never met a single one of your girlfriends.”
“That’s because I never have any,” I reply flatly. The line goes quiet, and I can hear her sniffle. “Mom? What is it?”
She clears her throat. “Nothing…I just…”
“What?”
“Well, I just hope you’re not too ashamed of me to introduce us someday,” she croaks and takes another drag.
“Why would I be ashamed of you?”
“Because I work at a gas station, and I don’t have some fancy job with a fancy office.”
“Jesus Christ, Mom,” I growl and take my glasses off to scrub my eyes. It’s way too early for her fucking mind games. “I would never be ashamed of you.”
“Well…I don’t make much money, and I don’t dress very well. And you know I’d be living in a dump if you weren’t paying my rent, so I’m sure you’re not excited to show some new girl off to the likes of me.”
“I don’t care about any of that, Mom.” I clench my teeth while squeezing the wheel of the car. She always does this. She always throws herself a pity party and villainizes me.
“Your father cares about that stuff,” she huffs incredulously. “And I hate to remind you, but you have his genetics.”
My teeth crack at that remark because it gets thrown in my face a lot. “Mom, I have never hidden you from anyone because I’ve never gotten serious with anyone. This relationship stuff is all new to me.”
“So, this girl must be special then. Which is why I feel hurt that you haven’t told me about her yet. What does she do? What’s she like? Who’s her family? You say you’re not like your father, but this is exactly what he would do. Hide me from his work friends and only take me out to places he wouldn’t know anybody.”
“Mom, stop this,” I bark, my anger flaring up fast and furious. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“And you’re mean just like him too.”
“Mom, I am not mean,” I state, biting my tongue so I don’t lose my temper on her because it only makes things like this worse. “I’m telling you I’m not my father. Now, did you call for a reason or just to tell me what an awful person I am?”
She sighs heavily. “My car needs new tires.”
I shake my head and roll my eyes. “Fine. I’ll swap cars with you at work this week and take it into Tire Depot.”
“Thanks, sweetie.” She releases a little laugh. “You’re a good kid, you know? I just don’t want your father’s genes to spoil you, that’s why I say these things. You be sure to treat that girl you’re with right, okay? Don’t screw with her mind like your dad did to me for years. If you’re not serious about her…you cut her loose before she winds up pregnant and brokenhearted like I did.”
My eyes close as I exhale the vile words she just said to me. “Got it, Mom.”
“Love is for suckers.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“You’ll take care of my tires?”
“I’ll take care of your tires.”
“Okay, love you.”
“Love you too.” I hang up and sigh.
Love is for suckers is probably tattooed on my mother somewhere. I know for damn sure it’s tattooed in my brain. I’ve heard it too many times for it not to be.
Which is why Norah and I can never be more than what we are right now. I’m not good enough for her to be more than a fake boyfriend. Not now…not ever.
“Is purple my color?” I call out to Rachael through the dressing room curtain.
“How am I supposed to know if you won’t come out and let me see?” Rachael calls back, and I swear I hear her hiccup.
“Enjoying that