her that didn’t dare trust what was happening, but she didn’t tell her sister that. The feelings were too new and raw to describe. “I have to go,” she said. “But…thanks, Vi. You know where your priorities are.”
When she returned to the RV, Sean was fixing the girls’ hair, mincing around and speaking with an accent in a poor imitation of a hair stylist. “You just need a little loft here, darling,” he said, fluffing Ashley’s wispy brown hair while she giggled. Charlie had Heidi braids this morning, crisscrossed over her head. With the headphones on, Cameron was fiddling with the radio. The dog burst in, tracking dirt all over the place.
Lily paused in the doorway for a moment. They all looked so dear to her just then, in this little contained world that felt cozily insulated against the outside.
Sean spotted her and sent her a grin that she felt like a physical touch. “Good morning, madam,” he said. “Do you have an appointment?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“I’ll see if I can work you in. Devil Dog?” he offered, holding out the box.
She met his gaze. “Maybe later.”
“I want to go swimming at Red’s hotel again,” Charlie said. “Can we, please?”
“Your uncle Sean has some meetings today.”
“Not until this afternoon,” Charlie said. “Please, Lily.”
“Fine with me,” Sean said.
A few minutes later, they were headed to the Colonial. Red had ordered breakfast poolside and he greeted them like a benevolent uncle. “Welcome to your new life,” he said to Sean. “The fun’s about to begin.”
Lily’s heart pounded as she walked to the edge of the pool. She was about to put one foot in the shallow end when she changed her mind. She walked the length of the pool and stepped up on the diving board. The clear, placid water looked very far below, very deep. Her heart sped up faster and she saw Sean watching her. She was afraid, but for once she was going to ignore the fear. Then, before she could change her mind, she stepped off the end and plunged in. She didn’t resist the water, didn’t struggle to the surface. She sank deep, felt her foot brush the bottom, then slowly rose. Her swimming was clumsy, but she managed to glide to the edge. That wasn’t so bad, she thought. That wasn’t bad at all.
She propped her arms on the edge and gazed up at the sunny sky. She could hear the girls laughing and splashing with Sean. Red and Cameron were deep in conversation at the breakfast table. There was a lull in the unrelenting grief that had been their constant companion all summer.
She watched a small wisp of a cloud drift, then shut her eyes. This was not the real world. Out here on the road, they were a family. But summer was coming to an end, and the real world awaited.
chapter 47
Summer’s end brought a return to Comfort and changes no one talked about, although everyone except for Ashley thought constantly about what the future held.
For Sean, it was a career he approached with a new maturity. He didn’t have to live out of a suitcase or worry about a world ranking, just about staying in the game.
Cameron got his driver’s license and, along with that, a certain easing of the anger inside him and perhaps even a sense that life could be fun again. He still caddied for Sean in tournaments and counted the days until Becky Pilchuk returned from her summer job.
Charlie was reading. Perhaps her scores would show her performing below grade level in some areas, but she could read and understand, and she didn’t dread the start of school as Lily had feared she might.
Ashley blossomed like a late-summer rose. She grew more beautiful and learned more words every day. Sometimes Lily would sit with her in the evening and they would go through photo albums together.
“Right there.” Lily indicated a snapshot of Derek. The fact that he’d made Crystal so unhappy was not something these children should have to deal with. And truly, looking at the family photos, she sensed they’d once brought each other joy. At least she hoped so.
Now that they’d returned to Comfort, she refused to spend the night with Sean, though this didn’t mean an end to the insane lust that possessed her. She was worried, though; in some moments, terrified at what lay beneath the