away the troubling thoughts. “Usually before I sleep with a girl, we drink champagne or do tequila shots. Not coffee and Devil Dogs.”
She licked the cream from her fingers, one by one, taking her time as though she knew what it was doing to him. “What makes you think I’m going to sleep with you?”
“Well.” He reached across the table and very gently removed her glasses, setting them aside. “It’s actually just a manner of speaking.” He reached again, this time taking apart her ponytail, watching her hair spring free. Goodbye, Marian the Librarian, he thought.
“What I mean is, I don’t think we’ll be doing any sleeping at all.” He stood slowly and came around the side of the table, drawing her up and pulling her close. “That is, if that’s okay with you.”
She kissed him. It was the first time she’d made the first move and she was ravenous. And breathless when she finally pulled back. “You taste like Devil Dogs,” she said.
chapter 46
When Lily awakened, she had a smile on her lips. A warm, slightly bruised and tender feeling reminded her of the night before, the secret hours in Sean’s arms before Red had brought the children back. Though their time was limited, she had been well and thoroughly loved, and memories pulsed through her, touching off signal fires in hidden places. Last night had been a revelation. A dream. An ecstasy that was softer and sweeter than a dozen Devil Dogs.
Sean Maguire, she thought, letting his name drift through her mind like an unforgettable song. Sean Maguire. I’m in love with Sean Maguire.
It was outrageous and wonderful. She was more afraid than she’d ever been in her life, but for the first time, she wasn’t going to let fear hold her back. This was the burden she hadn’t realized she was carrying. Over time, her heart had grown heavier and heavier, dragging her down until she couldn’t even remember to keep her head up. Now that she’d finally given her heart away, something unexpected was happening. Her burden had disappeared. She was light as air, content to drift inside a moment rather than planning ahead. She didn’t feel like herself at all, like super-organized, goal-driven Lily Robinson. She felt like Carmen, like Delilah, like…Cleopatra.
All right, she thought, so maybe she didn’t know what to do next. Today, Sean would have a round of interviews and appearances, with everything arranged by Red. Lily wanted to make herself scarce, to savor her feelings in private. She lay very still, alone in her bed, listening, wondering what it would be like to sleep all night in Sean’s arms. No one else seemed to be up. She reached for her cell phone and slipped outside, letting the dog out with her. Hugging her sweatshirt around her, she called her sister. Even though it was five in the morning on the West Coast, she needed to hear her sister’s voice. She felt a sweet sense of revelation. She had a sister who was wise in ways Lily was only now coming to appreciate.
Violet answered on the second ring. At first, Lily could do nothing but sob into the phone. She somehow managed to convey to her sister that for once they were tears of joy, not grief. When she finally gained control, she said, “Oh, Violet. I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know how it’s done.”
“You don’t have to do anything. Just be.”
“It sounds very Zen.”
“I don’t know about that,” Violet admitted. “I only know that if it’s the real thing, you don’t have to push it or question it. Just let love do the work.”
“That’s pretty much what we did last night.”
Violet laughed. “Way to go, Lil.”
“It’s so…so ill-advised.”
“Will you listen to yourself? Ill-advised, like this is a bad investment or something.” She paused. “The heart doesn’t work that way,” she added, sounding older and wiser than her years. “Just be happy with him.”
“I think looking for happiness with another person is like looking for the rainbow’s end. The minute you think you’ve found it, it fades away.”
“You’re crazy, Lily, you know that?”
“I’m already worrying about the impact of this on the kids.”
“The kids are going to love this. Seeing two people falling for each other—-how can that be a bad thing? They took a direct hit, losing their parents like that. They need to believe in something again. Like you and Sean.”
“Me and Sean,” Lily whispered, looking out at the misty day. There was still a part of