T-Bone - L. Wilder Page 0,62
only to wake the next morning tearing up again. I went into the bathroom to wash my face, and when I saw myself in the mirror, I gasped. My eyes were all puffy and blistering red, just like my cheeks and nose. I shook my head and whispered to myself, “Damn, girl. You need to pull it together.”
I swallowed back the last of my tears as I placed a washcloth under some cold-running water and pressed it against my swollen eyes. I left it there for several minutes, then having no other choice, I started to get ready for work. Half an hour later, I was downing my second cup of coffee as I rushed to the restaurant, not exactly looking forward to being there. I was exhausted and depressed, and without Jack there to distract me, I feared it would be a long, dreadful night. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. From the minute I arrived, we had a steady flow of customers, so I stayed busy the entire day and night.
By the time my shift was over, I was beyond exhausted. I didn’t waste any time grabbing my things out of my locker and heading out to my car. I could barely keep my eyes open as I drove home. I was so focused on taking a hot bath and slipping into bed that I hadn’t thought about the possibility of seeing Beckett. I just assumed that he would’ve spoken to Clay, and after hearing what I’d said to him, he wouldn’t come over. I was wrong.
When I pulled up in my driveway, Beckett was sitting on my front porch swing. Damn. I got out of the car, and as soon as I started walking up the front steps, he stood and met me at the front door. As luck would have it, he looked unbelievably hot in his black leather cut and faded jeans. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days, and I had to fight the urge to reach out and run my hand over the bristles of his beard. His dark eyes were filled with pain as he took a step closer. “Hey, Beckett. I, umm ... I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.”
“I didn’t figure you were.” His eyes met mine as he said, “I talked to Clay. He told me about your conversation last night.”
“If you talked to him, then why did you come?”
“I wanted to hear it from you.”
“What exactly do you need to hear from me?”
“Well, for starters, you can tell me that you don’t want anything more to do with me or the club.”
This whole damn thing had me racked with emotion. I was mad that he was putting me on the spot, but at the same time, I wanted to cry and plead with him to make me understand why he’d done what he did to those men. Maybe there was a good reason, but I doubted it would’ve been enough to change my mind. I knew I couldn’t tell him what I’d seen or how I really felt, so I said, “I don’t have anything to do with the club, Beckett. That’s your thing and Clay’s, not mine. I just don’t want to get pulled in any more than I already have.”
“And what made you decide that our life is so bad ... that it isn’t good enough for you?”
“It’s not like that.” I inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to figure out the right thing to say to him. “I just need a break. I need time to figure out exactly what I want, and I can’t do that unless I’m on my own.”
“Didn’t seem to have a problem with that the last couple of months.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say. We had a good run of it and all, but it’s over.” My chest ached as I said the words. I’d fallen for Beckett. I loved him. I’d wanted a future with him, but in just a few moments, everything had changed. “Besides, we’d agreed that we were going to keep this thing between us simple. We’re just supposed to be friends, and it’s become more than that.”
“So, nothing happened. You just decided this without even talking to me about it?”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Beckett. It is what it is.”
His face grew red with anger as he snapped, “That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“Don’t make this any harder than it already is, Beckett,” I replied calmly. “You said