excited. I’d thought I found my prince charming, but instead, I found a monster who stole my innocence. I blamed myself for what happened. I was careless and so caught up in the moment that I hadn’t realized I’d put myself in a precarious situation. By the time I’d figured it out, it was too late. The damage had been done.
I should’ve gone to the police and told them what Lucas Brant had done to me but decided against it. I’d convinced myself that if the residents of my small town ever found out that the “star quarterback” had raped me, they would’ve turned against me and blamed me for tempting him … or called me crazy for not wanting to be with him in the first place. So I kept my terrifying ordeal a secret—only sharing the details with my brother.
Clay hadn’t understood why I wouldn’t tell anyone else about what happened and ended up taking matters into his own hands. He’d gone to the party, found Lucas and then beat the hell out of him. I’d like to say that it helped knowing that Lucas paid some small penance for his crime, but it didn’t. Every time I saw his stupid face, I’d find myself thinking about that night—the way he’d held me down and how I fought him as he inched my dress up over my thighs—but most of all, it was what he’d said to me. I’d just gotten off the bed and was fixing my clothes when he came over to me and shoved his hand between my legs, gripping me tightly as he taunted, “Damn fine pussy you got there, Lyssa girl. I gotta tell ya, popping that fucking cherry of yours was the icing on the cake. Hell, I can’t wait to come back for seconds. If you’re lucky, I might even come back for thirds.”
And just like that, all the feelings of fear and helplessness would come rushing back, making it difficult to breathe. I’d hoped that over time it would get better, and in some ways it did, but I was never able to truly put that night behind me. I couldn’t let myself trust anyone, so I didn’t have a lot of friends—just my roommate, Nicole, and Hannah, my best friend from high school. I never really dated, at least not of my own free will. Nicole and Hannah were constantly trying to fix me up with guys they knew, but it didn’t take long for them to lose interest, especially when they realized I wasn’t going to jump into bed with them. The same held true for guys I’d met at parties. I would cringe at their touch, and they’d quickly figure out that I wasn’t an easy lay and move on to their next target. It wasn’t their fault. It was me who was damaged. I was the one who was unable to make a personal connection in fear of being hurt again.
I decided I was done letting Lucas Brant take from me. I wanted a normal life, and even though it meant facing all my fears head on, I was going to have it. Determined to take life by the horns, I couldn’t think of a better way to do that than to go to a party at an MC clubhouse. Besides, the party was for Clay, and after all he’d done for me, I owed it to him to be there.
Mom and I rode down to Memphis with Viper and a few of his brothers. Viper was my father’s brother, and after my dad died, he’d taken it upon himself to keep an eye on us, doing whatever he could to keep our family going. It was actually his idea for Clay to go to Memphis to prospect for Satan’s Fury, and there was no missing the proud look on his face as we drove through the main gates of their clubhouse. As he glanced around at all the cars and motorcycles, he smiled and said, “Looks like one hell of a turnout.”
“I didn’t realize that there’d be so many people here.”
While Viper never found out about what’d happened to me, he could tell from the tone of my voice that I was feeling somewhat uneasy by the large crowd. He glanced over his shoulder and looked me in the eye as he tried to reassure me. “These are good guys, Lyssa. I can almost guarantee that you’ll have a good time, and if not, I’ll