I could tell him I loved him over and over again, and I know it affected him when I did, but he needed the total surrender of my body - a display of trust he knew meant a great deal because of my past - to really believe it.
As he'd told me once, he had been the recipient of many I love yous over the years, but he'd never believed them because they hadn't been backed up with truth, trust, and honesty.
The words meant little to him, which was why he refused to say them to me.
I tried not to let him see how it hurt me that he wouldn't say them.
I figured that was an adjustment I'd have to make to be with him.
"Good morning, Eva."
I glanced up from my desk and found Mark standing by my cubicle.
His slightly crooked smile was always a winner.
"Hey.
I'm ready to roll when you are."
"Coffee first.
You up for a refill?" Grabbing my empty mug off my desk, I stood.
"You bet."
We headed toward the break room.
"You look like you got a tan," Mark said, glancing over at me.
"Yeah, I did a little sun lounging over the weekend.
It was good to be lazy and do nothing.
Actually, that's probably one of my favorite things to do, period."
"I'm envious.
Steven can't sit still for too long.
He always wants to drag me somewhere for something."
"My roommate's the same way.
It's exhausting how he runs around."
"Oh, before I forget."
He gestured for me to enter the break room first.
"Shawna wants you to get in touch.
She's got concert tickets for some new rock band.
I think she wants to see if you'd want them."
I thought of the attractive red- haired waitress I'd met the week before.
She was Steven's sister, and Steven was Mark's longtime partner.