It was bad enough thinking about strangers watching Brett and me f**king, but it was a million times worse imagining Gideon seeing it. I could still picture the look on his face when he’d watched the music video, and that had been terrible. He and I would never be the same if he viewed the real deal. I knew I’d never be able to scrub images of him and another woman out of my mind. And over time, they’d eat at me like acid.
“That’s why you went to California,” I whispered, horrified.
“Deanna gave me what information she had, and I secured a temporary injunction barring Yimara from licensing or selling the video.”
I couldn’t get a clue about what he was thinking or feeling from his body language. He was closed tight and restrained, rigidly in control. While I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. “You can’t stop it from getting out,” I whispered.
“We have a temporary seal on the court proceedings.”
“That video hits one of those file-sharing sites and it’ll spread like the plague.”
He shook his head, the ends of his inky hair brushing over his shoulders. “I’ve got an IT team dedicated to nothing but looking twenty-four-seven for that file on the Internet, but Yimara won’t make any money giving the footage away. It’s only worth something as an exclusive. He’s not going to f**k that up before he exhausts all other options—including selling it to me.”
“Deanna will tell. It’s her job to expose secrets, not keep them.”
“I offered her a forty-eight-hour exclusive on our wedding photos, if she keeps a lid on this.”
“And she was okay with that?” I asked skeptically. “That woman’s hot for you. She can’t have been happy about you being off the market. Permanently.”
“There is a point at which it becomes clear there’s no hope,” he said dryly. “I think I managed to make that point. Trust me, she was happy enough with the money to be made on the wedding exclusive.”
I moved to the toilet, dropped the lid down, and sat. The reality of what he’d told me sank in. “I’m sick over this, Gideon.”
He set his coffee down next to mine and came to crouch in front of me. “Look at me.”
I did as he ordered, but it was hard.
“I will never let anyone hurt you,” he said. “Do you understand? I will take care of this.”
“I’m sorry,” I breathed. “I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. And with everything else you have going on—”
Gideon caught my hands. “Someone violated your privacy, Eva. Don’t apologize for that. As for dealing with this … that’s my right. My honor. You’ll always come first.”
“It didn’t seem like I came first at the hospital,” I argued, needing to get the resentment out before it festered. And needing him to explain why he was always pushing me away when he was trying to protect me. “Everything went to hell and you shoved me at Angus when I wanted to be there for you. You took off to another state and didn’t call … didn’t say anything.”
His jaw tightened. “And I didn’t sleep. It took every minute I had and too many favors to count to get that injunction done in the time I had to work with. You have to trust me, Eva. Even if you don’t understand what I’m doing, trust that I’m always thinking of you and doing what’s best for you. For us.”
I looked away, hating that answer. “Corinne’s pregnant.”
He exhaled harshly. “She was, yes. Four months along.”
One word chilled me. “Was?”
“She miscarried as the doctors were treating the overdose. I’m choosing to believe she didn’t know about the baby.”
I searched his face and tried to hide the pitiful relief on my own. “Four months? The baby was Giroux’s, then.”
“I would hope so,” he said curtly. “He seems to think it was his, and that I’m responsible for her losing it.”
“Jesus.”
Gideon’s head dropped to my lap, his cheek resting on my thigh. “She had to be clueless. She couldn’t risk a baby over something so stupid.”
“I won’t let you blame yourself for this, Gideon,” I told him sternly.
He wrapped his arms around my waist. “Christ. Am I cursed?”
I hated Corinne so much in that moment I felt violent. She’d known Gideon’s father had committed suicide. If she knew Gideon at all, she would know how much her attempt would devastate him.