“Yes.” I took a drink, needing to loosen the lump in my throat. “But you’re the only one who knows that besides us.”
“Finally, a secret you let me in on.” His lips pursed for a few seconds. “And you still want me to live with you.”
I leaned forward again, holding out my hand for his. “I know you can do something else, go somewhere else. But I’d rather you didn’t. I’m not ready to be without you yet, married or not.”
He gripped my hand so tightly, my bones pressed together. “Eva—”
“Wait,” I said quickly. He was far too serious all of a sudden. I didn’t want him to cut me off before I put everything out there. “Gideon’s penthouse has an adjacent one-bedroom apartment he doesn’t use.”
“A one-bedroom apartment. On Fifth Avenue.”
“Yeah. Great, right? All yours. Your own space and entrance and view of Central Park. But still connected to me. The best of both worlds.” I rushed on, hoping to say something he’d latch on to. “We’ll stay on the Upper West Side for a bit, while I make changes to the penthouse. Gideon says we can have whatever changes you want made to your apartment done at the same time.”
“My apartment.” He stared at me, which made me even more nervous. A man and a woman tried to squeeze between our table and the back of an occupied chair that was pushed too far out into the walkway, but I ignored them.
“I’m not talking about a handout,” I assured him. “I’ve been thinking that I’d like to put that money I’ve been sitting on to work. Create a foundation or something to decide how to use it in support of causes and charities we believe in. I need your help. And I’ll pay you for it. Not just for your input, but for your face. I want you to be the foundation’s first spokesperson.”
Cary’s grip on my hand slackened.
Alarmed, I tightened mine. “Cary?”
His shoulders sagged. “Tatiana’s pregnant.”
“What?” I felt the blood drain from my face. The little restaurant was hopping, and the shouting of orders behind the counter and the clatter of trays and utensils made it hard to hear, but I’d caught the two words that fell out of Cary’s mouth as if he’d shouted them at me. “Are you kidding?”
“I wish.” He pulled his hand away and scooped back the bangs that draped over one eye. “Not that I don’t want a kid. That part’s cool. But … f**k. Not now, you know? And not with her.”
“How the hell did she get pregnant?” Cary was religious about protecting himself, knowing damn well he lived a high-risk lifestyle.
“Well, I shoved my dick in her and pushed it around—”
“Shut up,” I bit out. “You’re careful.”
“Yeah, well, putting a sock on it isn’t guaranteed protection,” he said wearily, “and Tat doesn’t take the pill because she says it makes her break out and eat too much.”
“Jesus.” My eyes stung. “Are you sure it’s yours?”
He snorted. “No, but that doesn’t mean it’s not. She’s six weeks along, so it’s possible.”
I had to ask. “Is she going to keep it?”
“I don’t know. She’s thinking it over.”
“Cary …” I couldn’t hold back the tear that slid down my cheek. My heart was aching for him. “What are you going to do?”
“What can I do?” He slumped back in his chair. “It’s her decision.”
His powerlessness had to be killing him. After his mother had given birth to him, unwanted, she’d used abortion as birth control. I knew that haunted him. He’d told me so. “And if she decides to go through with the pregnancy? You’ll have a paternity test done, right?”
“God, Eva.” He looked at me with reddened eyes. “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. What the hell am I supposed to say to Trey? Things are just starting to smooth out between us and I’ve got to hit him with this? He’s going to dump me. It’s over.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I straightened in my chair. I couldn’t let Cary and Trey fall apart. Now that Gideon and I were good, it was time to fix all the other areas of my life I’d been neglecting. “We’ll take it a step at a time. Figure things out as we go. We’ll get through this.”
He swallowed hard. “I need you.”
“I need you, too. We’ll stick together and work it out.” I managed a smile. “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you. Except to San Diego this weekend,” I amended hastily, reminding myself to talk to Gideon about that.
“Thank God.” Cary sat forward again. “What I wouldn’t give to shoot hoops at Dr. Travis’s right now.”