“So explain it to me, Mom. Please.”
Her gaze returned to me. “Maybe someday. When you’re not so upset with me.”
Sitting back in my chair, I felt a headache building. “Fine. I’m upset because I don’t understand, and you won’t explain because I’m upset. We’re getting nowhere fast.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” Her expression was pleading. “What happened between your father and me—”
“Victor. Why don’t you ever say his name?”
She flinched. “How long will you punish me?” she asked quietly.
“I’m not trying to punish you. I just don’t get it.”
It was crazy that we were sitting in a bright, busy space filled with people and dealing with painful personal crap. I wished she’d had me over to her place instead, the home she shared with Stanton. But I guessed she had wanted the buffer of an audience to keep me from totally losing it.
“Listen,” I said, feeling tired. “Cary and I are going to move out of the apartment, get something on our own.”
My mom’s shoulders straightened. “What? Why? Don’t be reckless, Eva! There’s no need—”
“There is, though. Nathan’s gone. And Gideon and I want to spend more time together—”
“What does that have to do with you moving away?” Her eyes flooded with tears. “I’m sorry, Eva. What more can I say?”
“This isn’t about you, Mom.” I tucked my hair behind my ear, fidgeting because her crying always got to me. “Okay, honestly, it does feel weird living in a place Stanton pays for after what happened between you and Dad, but more than that, Gideon and I want to live together. It just makes sense to start fresh someplace.”
“Live together?” My mother’s tears dried up. “Before marriage? Eva, no. That would be a horrible mistake. What about Cary? You brought him out to New York with you.”
“And he’ll stay with me.” I didn’t feel like telling her I hadn’t brought up the Gideon-as-a-roommate idea to Cary yet, but I was confident he’d be okay with it. I would be around more and the rent would be easier to bear when split in thirds. “It’ll be the three of us.”
“You don’t live with a man like Gideon Cross if you’re not married to him.” She leaned forward. “You have to trust me on this. Wait for the ring.”
“I’m not in a rush to get married,” I said, even as my thumb rubbed over the back of my ring.
“Oh my God.” My mother shook her head. “What are you saying? You love him.”
“It’s too soon. I’m too young.”
“You’re twenty-four. That’s the perfect age.” Determination straightened my mother’s spine. For once, that didn’t bother me, because it restored some of her spirit. “I’m not going to let you ruin this, Eva.”
“Mom—”
“No.” Her eyes took on a calculating gleam. “Trust me and slow down. I’ll handle this.”
Crap. That wasn’t at all reassuring when she was on Gideon’s side of the marriage argument and not mine.
18
I WAS STILL thinking about my mom when I left the Crossfire at five o’clock. The Bentley waited at the curb and as I walked up to it, Angus climbed out and smiled at me.
“Good evening, Eva.”
“Hi.” I smiled back. “How are you, Angus?”
“Excellent.” He rounded the rear of the car and opened the back door for me.
I searched his face. How much did he know about Nathan and Gideon? Did he know as much as Clancy? Or even more than that?
Slipping into the cool backseat, I pulled out my smartphone and called Cary. It went to voice mail, so I left a message. “Hey, just reminding you that I’ll be gone this weekend. Would you do me a favor and think about moving into a place we share with Gideon, and we can talk about it when I get back? Someplace new, that we can all afford. Not that he has to worry about that,” I added, imagining Cary’s expression. “Okay. If you need me and you can’t reach me on my cell, send me an e-mail. Love you.”