"Do I want to know how extensive that is?"
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back. "Probably not."
I shook my head, exasperated. "Yes, that's why I attended SDSU. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with my dad while I was growing up. Plus my mother was smothering me to death."
"And you never told your dad about what happened to you?"
"No." I rolled the stem of my wineglass between my fingers. "He knows I was an angry troublemaker with self-esteem issues, but he doesn't know about Nathan."
"Why not?"
"Because he can't change what happened. Nathan was lawfully punished. His father paid a large sum for damages. Justice was served."
Gideon spoke coolly. "I disagree."
"What more can you expect?"
He drank deeply before replying. "It's not fit to describe over dinner."
"Oh." Because that sounded ominous, especially when paired with the ice of his gaze, I returned my attention to the food in front of me. There was no menu at Masa, only omakase, so every bite was a surprise delight, and the dearth of patrons made it seem almost as if we had the whole place to ourselves.
After a moment, he said, "I love watching you eat."
I shot him a look. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You eat with gusto. And your little moans of pleasure make me hard."
I bumped my shoulder into his. "By your own admission, you're always hard."
"Your fault," he said, grinning, which made me grin, too.
Gideon ate with more deliberation than I did and didn't bat an eye at the astronomical check.
Before we stepped outside, he slid his jacket over my shoulders and said, "Let's go to your gym tomorrow."
I glanced at him. "Yours is nicer."
"Of course it is. But I'll go wherever you like."
"Someplace without helpful trainers named Daniel?" I asked sweetly.
He looked at me with an arched brow and a wry curving of his lips. "Watch yourself, angel. Before I think of a suitable consequence for mocking my possessiveness where you're concerned."
I noted he didn't threaten me with a spanking again. Did he understand that administered pain with sex was a major trigger for me? It took me back to a mental place I never wanted to return to.
On the ride back to Gideon's place, I curled into him in the back of the Bentley, my legs slung over one of his thighs and my head on his shoulder. I thought about the ways Nathan's abuse still affected my life - my sex life in particular.
How many of those ghosts could Gideon and I exorcise together? After that brief glimpse of toys I'd seen in the hotel room drawer, it was clear he was more experienced and sexually adventurous than I was. And the pleasure I'd derived from the ferocity of his lovemaking on the couch earlier proved to me that he could do things to me no one else could.
"I trust you," I whispered.
His arms tightened around me. With his lips in my hair, he murmured, "We're going to be good for each other, Eva."
When I fell asleep in his arms later that night, it was with those words in my head.
"Don't...No. No, don't.... Please."
Gideon's cries had me jackknifing up in the bed, my heart thudding violently. I fought for breath, glancing wild-eyed at the man thrashing next to me.