baby, very well.”
“I got it,” Pixie said. She looked over at Jordan, then unzipped Petal’s suitcase.
“And that is why I love you,” Dred said.
Jordan wore a grey hoodie and Dred watched as Pixie switched Petal’s blue dress for a grey one. Sobs turned into snivels as Petal finally climbed on Uncle Jordan’s lap.
Once everyone and everything was boarded on the plane, Nik did a headcount. Eighteen, including himself. “It feels like that scene in Home Alone,” Nik said. “Halfway through this flight, someone’s going to stand up and shout KEVIN.”
Four hours later, they were all settled in Miami. Dred wandered out onto the balcony of the condo a handful of floors below Lia’s. Lia was busy at the Second Circle Tattoo studio until later that afternoon, and Pixie was busy unpacking, a chore he’d been willing to help with until she’d told his assistance wasn’t…helpful. The sea was turbulent and murky gray. He stood in a T-shirt, the weather nearly twenty degrees warmer than it was at home, as the view encouraged the kind of inner peace he struggled to find anywhere else.
They’d debated moving out of their home that had originally been a rental after the incident that had left Nik shot, Pixie terrified, and himself traumatized that he’d just nearly lost the single most important thing to him. But somehow, they’d healed each other within its walls. Instead of moving out, Dred had bought the condo for Pixie’s birthday. He looked over at the couch where nearly three-year-old Arwen now slept under a blanket, recalling how he’d seen Pixie on the floor right next to it. All these years and the image still scarred him. But the condo had become a happy home with lots of great memories attached to it.
“You look lost in thought,” Jordan said, stepping out to join him. Lexi and Jordan were staying with them, the rest of the band had gone to their hotel.
“Just thinking about how far we’ve all come. Look at you, Dad.”
Jordan ran his fingers through his beard. “I’m fucking terrified.”
Dred turned to face his oldest friend. “Why?”
Jordan looked out over the water, avoiding Dred’s gaze. “I worry that if I lose her, I’ll lose myself again.”
“The risk of miscarriage is low now, right… and the doctors—”
“Not the baby. Fuck, why does everyone assume I mean the baby. I mean Lexi. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want anything to happen to the baby, either, but fuck... Lexi is…Lexi…is…” His words petered out, and Dred immediately understood. The fear of losing Lexi wouldn’t be over for another six months.
“Jordan,” he said softly, placing his hand on Jordan’s back.
“It’s just bringing things to the surface. Things I thought I’d dealt with a long time ago.”
They stood together, hands resting on the balcony, as the breeze ruffled their hair.
“We’ll get you through this. No matter what happens. And there are things we can do, things you can buy. Like, you can get a machine at home to listen to the heartbeat. If the baby is okay, Lexi is okay.”
Jordan nodded and swallowed. “I can’t talk to Lex about this shit. I don’t want my worry to cause her any stress. Pregnancies should be stress-free, right? I mean, she’s so tired, she’s napping right now.”
While his initial thought was that they should just keep it between them, Pixie had taught him to know better. Secrets were never the best option. “I think she’d want to know what you are going through. You don’t need to panic her. Just tell her what you told me. And you should consider speaking to someone again. Someone who can help you patch all these fears and emotions together so that they make a pattern you can understand.”
Jordan turned to look at Dred. “I hope there is a point in my life when the decisions my parents made don’t continue to hurt so much.”
Dred put his arms around Jordan and squeezed him tightly. “When you look into the eyes of the child you and Lexi made, and you realize you have every opportunity to love them the way your parents should have loved you, the world rights itself. It’s so healing, Jordan. You just have to be brave enough to embrace it fearlessly. Don’t allow them to ruin the most fucking precious thing that will happen to you in this lifetime. The baby is yours and yours alone, Jordan, to love and protect and be there for until you fucking die, man. Don’t ever let them pollute that.”
“Hey,