and dumbest idiot. How had I missed it? Six fucking shirts. Which didn’t include the rainbow of other colors in the same style. Who knew how many other multiples of other items I had.
I could feel the dark trying to press in. My Inner Bitch was getting ready. I could almost see her smacking her lips in anticipation. Feel her try to pierce the happy bubble that had grown inside me since meeting Ryker. I couldn’t let it. Couldn’t let it win. Not now. Not with all of this failure shoved in my face.
I lowered my hands, looked up into Ryker’s face. Searched it. All I could see was love and acceptance. A deep need to make me feel better.
Shifting around on his lap, I straddled his thighs. “It’s coming. You have to keep me here. Please.”
His brow furrowed for a brief moment before it cleared. “You need pain.”
I nodded. The shame that usually accompanied the request wasn’t there. Not with Ryker. It never had been.
“Straight pain or sexy pain?” he asked as he tucked his hands against my ass and pushed up from the chair.
“Your choice.” I stuffed my nose against his neck under his chin.
His chuckle was a balm to my heart. “Then sexy pain it is, cupcake.” He pinched my thigh. He strode to the bedroom. Set me on my feet while he moved the remaining suitcases and clothes.
I bit my lip, hard. Focused on the pain. The sensation. I’m still here. I’m still here. I’m still here.
Once the bed was free, he picked me up again and laid me in the middle of it. “How are your legs?” he asked as he started unbuttoning his shirt.
I pumped them up and down a couple times. Did the body scan. “Okay. The right one is achy again.”
He nodded, tossed his shirt over his shoulder. “Oops, being messy again. Bad Ryker.”
I snickered, pushed up on my elbows. “Come be bad Ryker with me.” I eased my legs apart, raised my knees.
His cheeks flushed. “Ma’am, yes, ma’am.” Gripping one of my ankles, he slid me down towards the foot of the bed. Pulled my pants and panties down my legs. He sighed as he slid his gaze over me from head to toe. “You’re so fucking gorgeous.”
He bent, sprinkled kisses over my shins and calves. Bit at my thighs just above my knees. The bundle of nerves there lit up in my brain like a bonfire on a clear night. The flaring sparks of pain helped push away that encroaching darkness. Kept me with him in the here and now.
“More, Ryker.” I was so close. But I needed more to lock the darkness away.
He shifted his head to my inner thigh. Bit harder. Sucked my flesh into his mouth.
I felt the rushing heat of blood under the surface of my skin. The deep ache of a forming bruise. The wave of pain rose inside me. Lifted me up and carried me on its wake.
He let go, massaged away the ache with his tongue and chin. “Your skin is so soft, cupcake. Like silk.” He turned his ministrations to my other thigh. Repeated the biting and sucking.
Harder and longer this time, I felt the lock shoot home on the inner vault that forced the darkness back. He’d done it again. Saved me. Loved me in a way I needed. Without shame or guilt. Just loved me as I was.
My arms quivered, threatened to give out. “Your mouth is delicious. And you use it so very well.”
He flicked his tongue out. Ran a long wet line from my knee to the crease where my thigh met my body. “You think so?” He lifted his head. Leaned forward. Took my bottom lip between his teeth.
As he pulled back, he applied more pressure. A biting sting that was soon soothed by his tongue and lips.
I moaned as my neck struggled to hold my head upright. “Uh huh. I know so.” The words were garbled.
He sat me up, pulled my shirt off. Blinked a couple times when he realized I wasn’t wearing a bra. He flicked his gaze up to mine. “You’ve been braless all day?”
I nodded. “Stuffing myself into a bra while we were under attack at the bunker didn’t really seem like the best use of my time. And I don’t know whether to be insulted or happy that you didn’t notice.” I looked down at my chest. Shrugged.
Like a heat seeking missile, he dropped his head to my right breast. Sharp bites