they don’t feed it. That’s my bet. And if they can’t hold true, if they have to part ways, they haven’t done so because of another person.”
“I don’t even know what to say,” she said. She was acutely aware that she hadn’t said, “I love you, too.”
“Ever since you first came over here to see my house, ever since you started feeling a little crowded in your house, things between us have been heating up. I like it. I like it more than you realize. But I suggest we take a little break while you think about where you want to go with me. Because I don’t want to be your Friday night guy forever.”
“You act like you think I’m using you!”
“Nah, I know you’re not that kind of person, Addie. But you take a long time to make a decision, y’know. And I’ve been hanging around a long time now. We gotta shit or get off the pot. Don’t you think?”
“I don’t know what to think,” she said. “I have to process this.”
He smiled indulgently. “That’s my girl. You process. I’ll walk you home.”
* * *
During the rest of October, the leaves turned and the hillsides east of the Pacific were aflame with colorful beauty. Justine’s house sold, and some of her furniture appeared in Addie’s house. Their house. The large yellow sectional replaced the old sofa and love seat that had been there for too many years to count, and while the piece was beautiful, it felt very awkward to Addie.
Every few days Justine brought home paint color samples, tile samples, flooring blocks or strips of wallpaper. Adele found it all overwhelming and was noncommittal.
“Really, Addie, if you don’t give me your opinion...” Justine said.
“You’re moving a little fast for me, that’s all,” she said.
“But you wanted to fix up the house. You talked about it for years. And I have some money from the sale of the San Jose house to apply to a little restoration. The big jobs will be the kitchen and bathrooms, so we might leave those for after the holidays. There’s a guy in town that Sam swears by who can do a kitchen in ten days. He promises it! Once the kitchen is remodeled, it’ll be easier to do new flooring. Will you at least look at some of these pictures I printed off the internet?”
“What if I’m not in the mood?” Addie asked.
Justine sat down at the table—her beautiful dining room table from San Jose—and said, “What’s really wrong? Don’t you like my ideas? Am I crowding you and making you uncomfortable? Are we too much for you here—the three of us?”
“No, I love having you here,” she said. “I think I’m having trouble with change.”
“Well, that’s not good since you’re making a lot of changes. Work, school, living arrangements...”
She doesn’t know the half, Adele thought. There was that little skirmish with Hadley. He hadn’t called or turned up since, so that was finally really over. She thought so, anyway. Then there was the ultimatum from Jake. He had stopped by the house a couple of times, bearing gifts of wine, fruit and cheese. He was his friendly old self, as sweet and lovable as ever. But they hadn’t had any further discussions about the status of their relationship.
“Of course I love him,” Adele told Ross. “I always have. But I never thought of him romantically, except to wonder could we be...you know...”
“Friends with benefits?” Ross said.
“Well, that’s the only way I can put it. I mean, lately we’ve been getting much closer and I thought it might lead to something physical, but that’s as far as I thought about it. But he wanted me to know that that kind of arrangement wasn’t enough for him.”
“And you interpreted that to mean?” Ross asked.
“Well, shit. He said he’d been in love with me for years. And here I always thought he loved me like a friend. Like a brother.”
“Hmm,” Ross said. “Do brothers usually act like that in your neighborhood?”