asked herself over and over again on the short taxi ride to the restaurant.
Stepping into Mario’s was like stepping into a restaurant in Italy again. The smells and sounds reminded her so much of her time in Venice that she found herself stiffening as they were seated near a large gas fireplace. The brick wall in back was covered in white flowers and ivy and as she slid into the leather booth, she took several deep breaths to steady herself.
“Hey.” Aiden frowned over at her after the hostess had left them. “Is everything okay?”
She nodded as she swallowed. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said automatically.
“Hey.” He reached across the small table and took her hand. “It’s me. Remember? I can tell that you’re about to jump out of your skin. What’s going on?”
She closed her eyes and glanced around. “I spent a month in Venice.” She supplied. “Shortly after my mother…” She swallowed again. “Harold thought it was best if we escaped the reporters in New York.”
“That must have been rough.”
“It was. I was eight. I’d never been anywhere and had just lost my mother.” She stilled as their waiter came over and introduced himself and asked for their drink selections.
Instead of answering him, Aiden leaned closer. “We could go somewhere else?” he asked her quietly.
“No.” She mustered up a smile and asked for a glass of red wine.
“Bring a bottle,” Aiden suggested. “Thanks.” He turned back to her. “Go on.”
She took a deep breath and continued her story. “Up until then, I’d only had fast food. My mother had spent every last dime she had fighting for custody of me. We ate McDonald’s more often than not. Harold didn’t eat fast food and, as his heir, he demanded I learn all about culture. I was fed escargot, and fish with their heads still on them.” She shivered remembering seeing the dead thing looking up at her and knowing that she would be forced to eat it all. “I was eight,” she reiterated.
He took her hand again. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“It wasn’t just that. It was the belief that I would never come back. I think he enjoyed seeing me suffer. He would hint that we weren’t ever going to return to the States. Not that I had anything left here, but…” She shrugged. “The feeling of not being in control of anything, it was incapacitating. I guess, walking in here, I just had a little déjà vu.” She motioned around the busy restaurant and realized that, after talking it out with Aiden, she no longer felt debilitated. She relaxed almost immediately.
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles just as their wine arrived.
For the rest of the dinner, she thought about why she’d felt so trapped walking into the restaurant and now, after talking with Aiden, she no longer did. Was it the simple act of talking her feelings through or was it because of her feelings for Aiden?
Finally, after enjoying their pasta dinners, Aiden pushed his empty bowl aside. “I know we said we wouldn’t talk about it, but I think we need to have that chat.” He poured her the rest of the wine.
She had known he was thinking about their arrangement.
She’d told him the truth. She didn’t want things to end with them. However, the moment they were back home, she knew he’d return to his demands that she should give him more.
Even after meeting her father and seeing everything she’d gone through, he still wanted to be with her. Didn’t that count for something?
“Aiden, I don’t know if I can give you what you want. What you deserve.” She set her drink down and played with the glass stem.
“You’re what I want. What I deserve,” he said, his eyes searching hers. “Since the moment I saw you, you’re all I’ve dreamed of.” He took her free hand again.
She swallowed hard and closed her eyes for a moment. “I don’t think… I’m not sure I can…”
“Aub, why not give it a try?” he asked softly. “It’s not like either of us are going anywhere. We have the camp and our friends. Why don’t you let me move in with you into the apartment? We can see where it takes us.”
She felt like laughing or screaming. She didn’t know which one. But the fact was, the thought of not sleeping in Aiden’s arms made her chest hurt.
Instead of answering him, she nodded slightly, since she didn’t trust her voice.
His smile was