have a boyfriend. You know this, Logan.”
His lips slowly tighten into a thin line. “Just… Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” He sounds so angry, so hurt. He climbs out of the car and slams the door. If that isn’t a screw-you, I don’t know what is. He doesn’t even turn around to make sure I get out of his car. Just strides up the steps to his house and disappears inside.
By the time I finally get into my car and dig through my purse looking for something to help with this paint, my hands are shaking. Logan’s the first person outside of my family to accept me for who I am, and I’ve stomped all over him. The NerdCon pass surfaces with the package of tissue I find, and I look at the ceiling of my car, wishing I wasn’t such a jerk. Logan’s pissed at me, and rightfully so, but it looks like I’m not done dragging him through the mud yet.
As I walk back to Logan’s car, my feet feel so heavy I actually look down to make sure I’m not wearing Dan’s boots. This is tough because giving the pass back this way means we probably won’t have any more contact other than the occasional awkward run-in at school. For a second, I look back at his house, wishing he’d come back, but that would just make this harder.
I open the car door, drop the pass on the seat, and leave.
#14
Mom is sleeping on the couch in her grandma nightgown when I get home. I sneak upstairs to wash all the stupid Smurf paint off and change into pajamas. Mom always complains the next day about muscle cramps if she sleeps all night on the couch, so I tiptoe back downstairs to wake her up.
“Mom,” I whisper and shake her shoulder. “I’m home. Go to bed.”
She snorts lightly, and her eyes pop open. She always wakes up like this, which freaks me out at first, and then I have to giggle, but tonight, at this moment, nothing is funny.
“Hey, honey, did you have a good time?” she says sluggishly.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“What happened?” she says in that mom-way, like she knows something is wrong.
“Nothing.” I put on an oblivious face. “Nothing happened. Go to bed, okay?”
“Are you sure?”
I start to tell her I’m sure, that nothing happened, but she knows me better than anyone.
“Something happened. You want to talk about it?”
Yes! I would love to talk about it. I can feel the words bubbling up. It’s crazy how Mom has a way of pulling things out of me, but I can’t admit I lied to her about where I was going tonight. So, I try to tell her only the parts she needs to know.
“There’s this guy,” I say.
“Ah, I think I know where this is going.” She sits up and settles in to listen.
“I mean, I know I’m with Eric right now, and he’s awesome. Well, kind of. In a superficial sort of way.” I frown. Wow. How do you really feel, Maddie? “Anyway, I feel bad because I really like this other guy. He’s funny, and we have a lot in common and—”
“Like what?”
Think fast. Do not confess how much or Mom will be all over you. “Uh, like, we’re both going to be in honors classes next year.”
“A smart guy. I like it.”
“Yeah, but Eric is in Florida, and he won’t be back for at least another two or three weeks. I don’t want to break up with him over the phone, you know.” And there it is. Mom has once again tugged out a truth I myself didn’t even know existed. I let out a deep sigh I’ve been holding in ever since Logan suggested he was just my summer experiment.
“Do you want my advice?” Mom always says this because we used to fight all the time over her giving me her opinion about clothes, nail polish, or whatever when I really didn’t want it.
“Yes, Mom, I want your advice.” After the last big fight we had, we made an agreement: she would have to ask the question and I would have to actually say these words in order for her to continue.
“I know you don’t want to break up with Eric over the phone, but if you intend on spending time with this new guy, then you need to call Eric. Either that or tell this new guy he can wait until Eric gets back and you can break up with him properly. It’s