into the mud. Trust me that I’m trying to do what’s best not only for me, but for everyone close to him. But my main interest right now is to get him out of the company before the shit hits the fan, so Sugar Bowl doesn’t suffer because of his mistakes. I’m trying to sever ties from him before this goes down, and I want to make sure you don’t have any existing ties as well.”
These words hit my father hard. His face sort of sags, turns slightly gray. For the first time in my life, I think he looks old. A tiny stab of pity hits me as I realize that I’m laying some troublesome shit on his doorstep. Then I immediately banish it when I envision the way he and my mother treated Caroline when she was raped.
“I know I haven’t been the best father,” my dad says as he looks at me with haggard eyes. “But I tried to support you both the only way I knew how, which was financially. I know money better than I know parenting. Maybe if I would have taken more of an interest in JT . . .”
His voice trails off and I can see he’s going into pity mode. He’s not worried about JT and his demons. He’s worried about his own personal failings and how this may reflect upon him. While I don’t really care about bolstering his pride, I do need to keep him focused on doing what I need.
“No, Dad,” I say firmly. “What’s wrong with JT can’t be fixed with fatherly love. He’s broken, probably on a cellular level. He’s broken, no matter what good influences have been around him.”
My father’s eyes water a tiny bit and he looks at me with unmitigated hope that perhaps this isn’t his fault. That maybe even his defective genes come from Candace, and JT was going to be a screwed-up individual no matter the circumstances.
I can see he needs some type of absolution for being a shitty father to me and an absent father to JT, so I tell him what he needs to hear, regardless of whether it’s true or not. “He’s broken, Dad. Nothing and no one could have prevented his actions or fix them now. Trust me on that.”
Our gazes lock and I give him an encouraging smile.
Finally, he lets out a deep breath of regret and says, “All right. I won’t loan him any money if he asks.”
I let out my own breath of relief as my hands grip the armrests of the chair. I start to pull myself up, eager to leave now that I have my dad’s cooperation. “Thank you.”
“Are you in any danger or trouble?” he asks, and that catches me off guard. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him ask me such a question . . . with such genuine concern for my welfare.
“No,” I assure him with a smile. “I’m fine. Will be better after I can get JT out of The Sugar Bowl, but I’m good right now. Don’t worry.”
“Okay,” he says quietly, and I start to turn away from him. But then he says, “Does this have anything to do with the young lady you brought with you tonight?”
This also catches me by surprise and I turn back to him. “Why do you ask?”
My father cocks an eyebrow at me. “Beck . . . not once in your ten years of adulthood have you ever brought a girlfriend here. Not only that, I can tell how protective you are of her. And whatever this quest is you are on to sever JT from your life, I think the motivation must be powerful. I’m guessing it’s the girl.”
My dad will figure out the details soon enough once JT is arrested for Sela’s rape, but I’m not about to share that with him. Instead, I merely say, “Everything I do is with the idea in mind of solidifying my future with her.”
And for the third time this evening, my father stuns me. He looks at me with admiration and says, “That’s a good reason to make a bold move. For love.”
I blink at my dad, confused over his words. I didn’t think he knew what love was. Hell, I’m not even sure I quite understand it; only that my feelings for Sela are overwhelming to me at the worst of times, and infinitely comforting at the best of times.
Nodding in affirmation to my dad, I merely say, “Merry Christmas. And