I shifted my phone to prop it up between my shoulder and ear as I started to search through my drawers for a pair of socks. “Not bad, but not great either. We danced for one more song after we ended the call, and it felt like perhaps she was starting to feel something for me. But nothing happened, and she went to her room. She’s acting like nothing is different between us today. I must have read too much into things.”
“So, you’re telling me that the great Aiden Moore unleashed all of his charms last night and still didn’t land the girl?”
I glared down at my sock drawer. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“That sucks.”
“Tell me about it,” I muttered. “I’m kind of running out of things to try with her here.”
“Maybe you’ve gone about this all wrong,” Seth said. “Maybe you should just be honest with her.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw the way you two were last night, and I don’t think she’s as immune to your charms as you think. You should just tell her how you feel.”
I fell silent. Did Seth really believe Clary might feel something for me after iso-prom? I’d been having my doubts, but maybe he’d seen something I hadn’t.
My heart was racing just at the thought of telling her the truth, and I wasn’t sure I could do it until I was certain she liked me back. I’d tried being honest and asking her out before, but it had failed miserably. My feelings had only grown since then, and I didn’t think I could handle her rejection again.
“I’m not sure I can do that,” I replied.
“Why not?”
I huffed out a breath and pushed a hand roughly through my hair. “Because she’ll reject me. She’s completely oblivious to the connection between us, and there’s no way she feels the same way. I need more time to make her see how great we could be together. I need to be sure of her feelings before I put mine on the line. I’ve already felt the sting of Clary’s rejection before, and I can’t go through it again.”
“You don’t know how she feels.”
I let out a sad laugh. “Yeah, I do. Like I said, I saw her this morning, and she acted totally normal, like nothing even happened last night. I don’t have a chance with her. Maybe I should just give up.”
I sounded pathetic even to my own ears.
“Well, you definitely won’t have a chance if you give up,” Seth replied. “And are you really going to let the fact that she refused to go out with you years ago stop you from going after her now? I know you don’t believe you’re worthy of Clary but you are.” His voice was serious now, and I hated the sympathetic tone I could hear in his words. I didn’t need sympathy from anyone, let alone my best friend.
“You have the biggest heart of anyone I know,” he continued. “And if Clary can’t see what a great guy you are after spending all this time with you, then you need to move your attention on to someone else.”
I looked in the direction of Clary’s room and wondered if Seth had a point. Wasn’t it better to tell her the truth about how I felt so I could move on if she didn’t love me back? We’d spent a couple of weeks together now, and if she didn’t like me after all that time together, then more time wasn’t going to change anything.
“What if she says no?” I murmured. “What if she says no and we’re stuck living together. It would be so awkward.”
“Yeah, it would be,” he agreed. “But surely, awkward is better than continuing to love a girl who doesn’t love you back.”
I wasn’t convinced about that.
“Besides,” he continued. “I wouldn’t be so sure she’ll reject you. I haven’t seen you and Clary together since school, and she was acting so differently around you when I saw you both at iso-prom last night. I think you have more of a chance than you believe.”
I wanted to believe Seth more than anything. Maybe Clary’s feelings toward me had changed but I was just too scared to notice? I wasn’t sure if they had, but I couldn’t seem to snuff out the small flame of hope he’d lit inside me.
“Maybe you’re right,” I murmured. “Maybe I need to man up and give this whole honesty thing a shot.”