snap as I jump out of bed. “Are you serious?”
“We’re not together, Emily. I would have to be a fucking idiot to not take precautions.”
My face falls. “What was last night?”
His eyes hold mine. “It was goodbye.”
“What?” I can feel the tears of shock welling in my eyes.
“Don’t be upset,” he stammers.
“Don’t be upset?” I cry as I begin to lose control. “You summoned me here to meet you with absolutely no intention of us getting back together?”
He stares at me.
“Is that true?” I yell.
“I’m not the man for you, Emily,” he replies calmly, and I know that this is a practiced speech.
I frown as the walls begin to close in around me. “What?” I whisper.
“You’re in love with Jim.”
I angrily swipe the tears as they roll down my cheeks.
“I’m Jameson. Jim doesn’t exist, Emily. He’s a figment of your imagination, the man you want me to be.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I cry.
“You’re better off without me.”
“If this is about Jake—” I stammer.
“This isn’t about Jake, although I’m fucking furious with you for lying to me.”
“I swear to you that nothing happened,” I cry.
“I know it didn’t.”
“Then why?” I whisper. “I don’t understand. We belong together, Jay.”
“I can’t.” He closes his eyes and pauses for a moment as if steeling himself to push the words past his lips. “I don’t want marriage and babies. I don’t want the same things as you. I’m not cut out to do normal, Emily. I’m married to my job. It will never change. I’ve thought long and hard about this.”
I step back from him as horror dawns. I can hear my own heartbeat in the silence.
“I will always love you,” he whispers.
I stare at him through tears . . . what the fuck is happening right now?
He brushes past me and goes into the bathroom, and the door closes. I stare at a piece of carpet on the floor, shocked to my core. After the beautiful night we had together . . . this is how he treats me?
He reappears fully dressed, and his eyes find mine. “Can I give you a lift somewhere?”
“If you walk out that door now, we are over forever,” I whisper.
His eyes hold mine. “I know.” He steps forward and kisses me softly as he cups my face in his hands. Our faces screw up against each other’s. “This is for the best; another man can make you happier.”
I step back, furious. “Don’t you dare throw that shit at me.”
“Do you want a lift or not?”
“Go to hell,” I spit.
His haunted eyes hold mine. “I’m already there.” He turns and walks out the door. It clicks quietly behind him.
I sob out loud into the silence as I hold my poor heart.
Chapter 23
I sit on the carpet cross-legged, with my back rested against the couch, and flick my phone. I watch it spin until it slows in momentum, and I spin it again.
It’s been a weird day today—one of realization and the closing of a chapter in my life.
I’m not crying. I don’t have any tears left for Jameson Miles.
To be honest, I’m just angry, mostly with myself for meeting him last night and being his puppet once again.
Magic Mike XXL is on Netflix, and I’m watching it again. It’s ironic, really, that we started our love affair watching this movie, and now I’m watching it again on our demise.
I’ve been deep in thought. I’ve got some decisions to make—big decisions.
About where I’m going with my life . . . my career and my future at Miles Media.
I already know what I need to do. I glance up to the television, and it’s a campfire scene on the beach, and the men are talking about a woman one of them loved.
“When someone shows themselves to you . . . believe them.”
My chest constricts at the significance of that statement.
For weeks now, I’ve refused to believe that Jameson Miles was coldhearted.
He is, though; no matter how the man I thought I knew presented himself . . . his reality is a lie.
“Jim doesn’t exist,” he said.
My phone rings, and the name Tristan lights up the screen. I frown. “Hello.”
“Oh my God, Em. They think they’ve found it.”
I sit up. “What?”
“Lara Aspin’s computer—there’s evidence on there that it was used to log in to our bank accounts.”
“What?” I whisper, wide eyed.
“We don’t have details yet, but the computer analysts just called to let us know that the history is very promising.”
I smile. “That’s great.”
“I’ll see you in the office