your little holiday, because I’m going to make sure you wish the thought of escape had never even crossed your mind.”
Terror mixed with the numbness to create an emotion I couldn’t quite comprehend. That was the only thing that could explain why I chose that moment to laugh.
I was careful not to make a sound, but I allowed my chest to shake with it. Maybe I was losing my sanity, or maybe I just didn’t care anymore. But, either way, I didn’t bother trying to hide my laughter.
The warden smashed the cherry end of his cigarette onto the ground and stood. A second later, one of his boots landed in the middle of my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit down on my lower lip to keep from screaming while he kicked me time and again.
I managed to roll to one side, but it was impossible to breathe. Every muscle I had seized and burned as my lungs refused to pull in oxygen.
“Take her to the solitary showers.”
I was vaguely aware of guards speaking to each other as they lugged me away, but I was too out of it to understand what they were saying. The harsh spray of icy water battered every inch of my body while I curled on the cold floor, the water mixing with my tears and the mud from my body.
Knowing there was no getting away from the humiliation or pain, I tried to focus on every good memory from the last couple of weeks.
Killian making love to me like I was the most precious thing in his world.
Flynn teasing me and showing me how amazing it was to love my best friend.
Ronan finally giving in and showing me emotion. Kissing me. Trusting me.
Together, the princes had broken down walls I didn’t even know I had. They made me believe I was meant for more than solitary laments by the loch.
They’d saved me, and now I was clinging to the hope that they’d be able to save themselves. They had to.
Killian
It was quiet beneath the water. What a relief silence was. I couldn’t breathe, sure, but I could breathe.
The cool waves closed over my head, and my breath disappeared in a flood of bubbles. I’d never been so at peace. The noise—that godsawful note that seemed pitched to set my skull vibrating—floated away along with my air.
As I came to rest on the bottom of the pond, I stared up at the hazy and distorted world. Up there was pain and insanity. But, down here, it was cold and calm. I now knew I was never meant to lead Tuatha, and the relief that stemmed from that knowledge just added to my sense of serenity.
My lungs started to burn. I could do all sorts of magic, but I couldn’t make myself into a Folk who could survive underwater. I shifted, kicking at the sandy bottom. Silt and mud lifted into the water, and it became just a little bit darker.
I closed my eyes. This was my moment of truth. Did I stay here? Or did I go back?
The tournament was over for me. I’d failed facing and overcoming my greatest fear.
I thought about the cold faces of my brothers and the bloated, rotting one of my father. A life lived fighting those I loved most was my greatest fear. Going mad from the wail of some nefarious creature I’d yet to discover.
What did I have to go back for? I’d lost everything. I’d let everyone down.
But the thought of never seeing Flynn or Ronan again…
The thought of never seeing Imogen again…
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t give up.
Shifting, I prepared to propel myself to the surface. I braced my feet on the bottom of the pond and bent my knees, but instead of finding a solid surface, my boots sank through the mud into a buried log. I reached down, feeling with my hands for the spot where I was stuck. The dirt floated all around me, so I couldn’t see what I’d managed to hook onto.
Just as I began to panic, two sets of hands caught mine and yanked, kicking hard to the surface. As I emerged, I waited for the wail to hit me, but it didn’t. The only thing I heard was my two brothers, sucking in air and splashing as they dragged me to the shore.
“I should kick your fucking ass for that.” Ronan flung me forward before collapsing onto his knees.
Fingers digging into the sand, I heaved in breath