there’s a catch.
Of course there is.
He has to move to Los Angeles.
Chapter ten
“I want you to come with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not? You’ll graduate college in a couple of months, and you don’t want to work for your father, anyway. So why not, Zach?” His eyes are desperate, pleading.
“Because I don’t want to live in fucking LA!” I shout, a desperation of my own rearing its head.
I can’t be the person you want me to be.
He reaches for my hand. “It won’t be forever. Just until we’ve developed the company and established ourselves. It’ll be a chance for a brand-new start, Zach.”
His words cut through me like a rusty knife. I pull my hand away. “I don’t need a new start. I’m perfectly happy where I am.”
“Yeah? Are you really?” His voice is soft, and his eyes are full of pity for me.
“I am.” I jut my chin out, looking away, unable to stand the disappointment in his eyes anymore. “Why does it have to be Los Angeles? Why can’t you do that here?”
He exhales a long breath, hand raking through his hair nervously. “It’s what Mark wants. He’s based there and doesn’t want to move, and he wants to be involved in everything. Which is fair considering the amount of money he’s investing. And he knows people there, has connections. He’s certain he can get us clients that will raise our profile.”
On an intellectual level, I know he’s right. But on a basic emotional level, I just want to scream and then beg him to stay.
I do neither of those things. Instead, I raise my chin and narrow my eyes. “I don’t want to come with you, Alec.”
His eyes widen, realization slowly creeping in. “But… I thought you—” He looks away.
“You thought I what? Will leave my whole life behind to follow you wherever you go? Will leave my family and friends and move to the other side of the country for you? Will beg you to stay? What exactly did you think, Alec?”
He’s vibrating with so much frustration I can see it in every move he makes. “I thought you loved me, too!” he exclaims, his eyes burning.
I gape at him, my bravado leaking out of me.
Because I do. Love him.
But I can’t be the person he wants me to be. Someone who’s responsible, and sensible, and whose last name doesn’t matter.
Someone who wants to be saved.
“You thought wrong.” The words scrape my mouth like shrapnel.
Alec recoils from me. Looks at me as if he doesn’t know me. “So, that’s it?” he asks, voice so gruff it breaks my heart.
“You’re the one leaving.” The effort of keeping my voice steady and my eyes from betraying how I actually feel is taking its toll. My hands are trembling when I fold them in my lap.
“Okay.” He stands and takes the distance to the door of my tiny studio in four strides. Pauses at the door with his hand on the handle. His shoulders hunch down, and that’s when I know.
He believes me.
He believes I don’t want to go with him.
He believes I don’t love him.
Without a second glance at me, he opens the door and steps out. The soft click of the lock sounds like a cage snapping shut.
I stare after him, frozen on the couch. My body starts shaking, tremor after tremor running through me. My breathing comes out fast and shallow, the first violent sob tearing through me like the first drop of rain before a storm. I slide off the couch, my back against it, and cry, while my world is crumbling around me.
Much later, I clutch my phone in my hands, trying to talk myself out of calling Alec. Of begging him to forgive me. Of admitting I lied and that I do love him and—
I throw the phone on the couch.
I have to end this. Once and for all.
Alec’s much better without me. I’ll only hold him back. I can’t take seeing the disappointment on his face, over and over, every time I fuck up.
I reach for my phone and text Adri.
That night, I drink more than I usually do. I dance more than I usually do. And I think much less than I usually do.
The music in the club is like a lifeline. I clutch at it, pulling on it, letting it drag me from the depths of my despair. I laugh, and I dance, and I flirt with anyone who comes close.
When Adri slides behind me and wraps me in his arms, I