sand, nearly undid her. The thought of going back to the life she’d had before Mark was crushing. Worse yet was the thought of the life that waited ahead for her now that there was no hope for Michelle.
Lorelei threw her head back and cried out, “What is wrong with me?” Why couldn’t she do it? Why hadn’t she been able to sell his necklace? Why all the half-assed attempts and self-sabotage? The answer was right there in front of her, naked with uncensored truth. She hadn’t done it because Mark had once been a lonely, awkward boy who’d been given a gift by a girl. And Lorelei couldn’t take that away from him.
She sat up and thumped the heel of her hand hard against the steering wheel. “Damn it, Lorelei! Damn you.” Self-loathing washed through her and she welcomed it. Deserved it for the fate she’d resigned her niece to.
On top of it all she’d broken a promise. When she’d left she’d promised Logan the next time she came back she’d have the money. It was one more transgression on her list of things she’d screwed her family on. One more lie.
Logan and Michelle were all she had in the whole world. She couldn’t bear it that she would lose one of them. She’d lost so many people she loved and didn’t know if she’d survive losing another one.
Sitting up, Lorelei wiped her hands over her face and sucked in air. Logan might very well hate her afterward, but he deserved to know.
She stepped from the car and quietly closed the door, then walked to the house. All the windows were dark except Michelle’s. A faint light glowed there from the teddy bear nightlight. But she doubted Logan was asleep.
When Lorelei stepped through the front door she knew her suspicion was right. She heard fabric rustle and saw the shape of her brother move through the darkness toward her. He never slept anymore and she knew it was from all the demons that chased him, cornered him in his sleep. He’d loved Susan more than she’d ever seen anyone love anybody and it was eating him up inside. Instead of getting better, slowly moving through the grief, he seemed to be sinking further into it.
She knew he felt like it was all his fault. Which was so wrong. He couldn’t have known about Susan’s weak heart, Susan hadn’t even known. Not until it was too late. Even when they’d discovered the problem with Susan while Michelle was still in the womb they hadn’t been able to abort her. It was their baby and they’d wanted her to live.
Lorelei cleared her throat and let the truth fall. “I couldn’t do it. I had the chance and I screwed it up. I’m so, so sorry.” Her voice cracked.
His arms came around her and he pulled her close. “Shhh. You didn’t screw up anything, Leelee. I’m the one who should be apologizing, not you. I realized after you left the other day all the burden I’ve put on your shoulders and I’m sorry for it. It’s not right for you to have to miss out on a good life, a happy one.”
“Stop it. You’re not a burden, damn it. You’re my family. I would do anything for you. And I tried. I really did, but in the end I just couldn’t steal from him.”
Logan kissed the top of her head and rocked her gently. His voice was tired and weary and full of love. “You’re a good girl, Leelee. Of course you couldn’t steal from him, no matter how much you might have wanted to. I would have been disappointed in you if you had.”
She sighed into his arms, comforted by his embrace and the use of her childhood nickname. “But what about Michelle’s surgery?”
He was quiet for a moment. “You let me worry about that. I know you love her, but she’s my daughter. I’ve been thinking on something lately that might just work.”
Instantly alert, she raised her head and demanded, “What? You’re not thinking about riding bulls again, are you?” He kept silent and she knew she’d guessed right. She’d suspected as much. “Logan Michael, you can’t afford to go back to rodeoing and have another bull tear into you like Sampson did.”
His sigh was strong enough to part her hair. “Lorelei.”
“Logan.”
“I just don’t see another way. If I can make it to Vegas and win, the pot would be more than enough to pay for Michelle’s surgery and the