not to theorize on my mission. I am not here to kill anyone. I promise that.”
“Understood, sir,” I said.
That only made her sigh—a sound like a soft breeze riffling papers. “I will take Brade out for a practice run. Please rest.”
“Confirmed,” I said, and she took off, ordering Brade to join her. I opened my backpack, which I kept stowed in its tied-on position behind my seat, and got out a snack. I believed that Vapor wasn’t here to kill anyone. But what was she here to do? I could swear I’d smelled her scents watching over my shoulder at times, and her race . . . did they see like others? I doubted it. But could she smell what I really was?
Scud. I was already doing what she’d asked me not to do. If she knew what I was, she hadn’t turned me in yet, so there was no use in worrying.
I pointed my ship away from where the others were dogfighting, looking instead out at the stars. The field of lights stared back at me, endless, inviting. I couldn’t hear much from them. There was a small stream of cytonic communication leaving the Weights and Measures, likely heading back toward Starsight, but it was a lot “quieter” out here than it was back near the enormous platform.
All those stars, I thought, wondering if Detritus’s sun was visible to the naked eye from this distance. Many of the planets around them inhabited. Billions and billions of people . . .
I closed my eyes, letting myself drift. Just out here among the stars. Floating.
Almost without thinking, I undid my straps, hit the control lock on my console, and released myself to the zero G of my cockpit. It was small confines, but with my eyes closed, I could truly just float. I pulled off my helmet and let it drift away to thump softly against the canopy.
Me and the stars. Always before, I’d done Gran-Gran’s exercise when on the ground—in places where I needed to imagine that I was soaring among the stars. Seeking their voices.
For the first time, I truly felt that I was among them. Almost as if I were a star myself, a point of warmth and fire amid the endless night. I lightly pushed off the side of my canopy, keeping myself floating in the center. Feeling . . .
There, I thought. Starsight is over there. I knew, instinctively, the direction toward the platform. During our jumps between the delver maze and the city, my mind had been injected somehow with that knowledge. Each time the imprint seemed to last longer, to the point where it was firm in my mind now—and no longer fading.
If I had to, I knew I could hyperjump back to Starsight on my own. In fact, I was increasingly certain I could now find my way back to Starsight from anywhere. That didn’t do me any good at the moment though. I already had transportation to Starsight.
My concentration receded as my problems seized my brain. Steal the Superiority’s hyperdrive technology. Rescue Brade. Figure out what was up with Vapor—not to mention the weapon the Superiority was developing. And that didn’t even get into the subtleties of whatever political situation was going on among Cuna, Winzik, and the Krell. It was all just so overwhelming.
Spensa . . . A voice seemed to speak from out there, among the stars. Spensa. Soul of a warrior . . .
I snapped my eyes open, gasping. “Gran-Gran?” I said. I pushed my feet down against my seat, pressing myself against the window of my canopy, looking frantically out among the stars.
Saints and stars. That had been her voice.
“Gran-Gran!” I shouted.
Fight . . .
“I will fight, Gran-Gran!” I said. “But what? How? I . . . I’m not right for this mission. It isn’t what I trained for. I don’t know what to do!”
A hero . . . does not choose . . . her trials, Spensa . . .
“Gran-Gran?” I asked, trying to pinpoint the location of the words.
She steps . . . into the darkness, the voice said, fading. Then she faces what comes next . . .
I searched desperately for my home among the thousands of stars. But it was hopeless, and whatever it was I thought I’d heard did not return.
Just that lingering phantom echo in my mind.
A hero does not choose her trials.
I drifted for a long moment, hair floating in a mess around my face. Finally, I pushed myself down and