“Oh, fuck. Do that again,” he whispers. “Make that sound for me. Let me hear how much you want it.”
I gasp when he caresses me there, rubbing his hand up and down my panties. They’re getting soaked quickly, and I get the feeling this isn’t going to take long. I’ve only ever done this myself and to have him out of all people be the first to touch me there is amazing.
“Like it when I’m touching you here?” he whispers, circling around with his finger. “I could do this all day and night.”
When he takes his hand off, I whisper, “Don’t stop.”
He smiles, and then leans in to place a kiss on my chest. “I won’t … if you tell me the truth.”
“Yes,” I say, air catching my throat. “I want it.”
“You want this?” he asks, placing a kiss on my breast. “Or do you want me?”
“Both …” I gasp when his hand goes to the back of my dress and rips down my zipper in one go.
Lust overtakes me as he covers my mouth with his and lets his tongue rein free. His tongue circles mine, touching the roof of my mouth, as his hand drifts to my shoulder and slides down my dress. When my breasts pop free, I don’t even notice it until he grabs one and teases my nipple.
“Oh, god …” I murmur, but he captures the rest of my sentence with his mouth, not allowing me one second to catch my breath. I don’t even want to; all I want is his mouth to devour me and to take everything away. My mind is blank as my heart only beats for him, almost exploding with need.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs. “I can’t stop wanting you.”
My heart almost beats out of my chest. Even though I rarely see him anymore, the fire is still very much alive and burning brighter than ever. We’ve found each other again, despite the fact that we shouldn’t be near each other. We’re toxic, and yet we can’t stay away from one another. Both unhappy with our current situation, we reach for love in one another. It’s like happiness is being ripped from the both of us, and we’re blaming each other for it, desperately trying to cling to the little bits we have left.
But I won’t let my future or my past ruin this night for me. This is our night, and I won’t even allow myself to think of the consequences. This is what I need, what I want. Him.
It’s always been him.
CHAPTER 23
PHOENIX
The knife drops from my hand as the past confronts me; the girl I used to love, the same girl sitting in front of me right now with my collar around her neck. I used to say I loved her. I’d do anything for her. And for some reason, thinking about how much I felt for her sparks my heart.
I take a deep breath, stepping away from her to recalibrate my thoughts.
I can’t allow these memories of a long-forgotten past to overtake me. It’s not who I am right now, and it’s the opposite of what I’m trying to achieve here.
“Stop it,” I say. “Just shut your mouth.”
“I know you feel it, too,” she says. “I think about it every day. Ever since you came back.”
“Stop it!” I yell, placing my fingers on my temple to focus. “Don’t you fucking dare.”
“Or what?” She jumps off the table. “You’ll hurt me?” She glances at the knife lying on the floor, and for a second, I think she’s going for it.
“Oh, no you don’t,” I say, lunging for it to grab it first. She doesn’t even flinch as she watches me from above while I crawl back up with the knife in my hand. “You’re playing me. Again.” I sway the knife in the air. “God-fucking-dammit.”
“I’m not playing you, Miles. Look at me. I’m cuffed, for god’s sake.” She shakes her head. “Whatever we had before, we could have again. I never wanted it to end,” she says. “There was just no other way.”
“Tell me more about those lies of yours. I’m so fucking interested,” I sneer, wiping my mouth. I suddenly feel disgusted, but I don’t know why. I feel like my brain is fighting my heart. They both want two completely different things now, and it’s tearing me apart. I don’t know what the fuck to do with it, so I keep pacing around the room, keeping my eyes on