Spying Under the Mistletoe (Love Undercover #2) - Stina Lindenblatt Page 0,85
out. Which means he won’t be here long.
That doesn’t mean I’m not happy to see Jayden.
But it does mean I have a feeling I’ll want to go for that run even more once he leaves. I’ve known him too long to believe he just came over so the dogs can hang out together.
“What’s really going on?” I ask after we’ve walked a block. “And don’t give me that crap about the dogs spending quality time together.”
“You’re right. Liam told me what happened. That Chloe’s accident freaked you out.”
A squirrel darts up a tree ahead of us. Whiskey goes chasing after it, only to be brought up short, thanks to the leash. Mojo isn’t the most energetic of dogs, so he keeps to our current pace.
“I screwed up. She was pissed when she found out I’d been lying about the real reason I was pretending to be her boyfriend, and it had nothing to do with Nikolai asking us to protect her. I let her push me away, and look what happened.”
“The accident wasn’t your fault. It would’ve happened anyway. Just on your watch instead of on Adam’s.”
“But at least then she wouldn’t have been driving. She would have been in my jeep. She would’ve been a helluva lot safer than she was in her car.” Especially since it looks like at some point someone had fucked with the airbags, which is why they didn’t deploy during the accident.
“You really think that would’ve made a difference? Whoever has the contract out on her wants her out of the picture. Permanently. As it is, I bet they’ve got steam whistling from their ears because the hit man fucked up, and she walked away from the accident.”
I open my mouth to argue.
He doesn’t give me a chance. “I stand corrected. She got to be driven away in an ambulance. But she still survived.”
“So that she can be a human target for another day.”
“We won’t let that happen.”
A gush of wind sends several dry leaves tumbling across the sidewalk.
Whiskey pounces on one of them and barks proudly at me.
I bend down and pet him. “I know, you’re a big scary boy. No leaf stands a chance with you around.”
“But I think we both know this isn’t what’s got your knickers in a twist,” Jayden says. “It’s not only about the accident, am I right?”
I don’t say anything.
“Look, I get it. I went through the same thing with Isabelle. I was paranoid of her dying due to the job. So I was an asshole, demanding she abandon her goal of being an operative because I couldn’t handle it.”
“Not the same thing, man. Isabelle is trained to look after herself.” Thanks to Adam and me. Adam had taught her to be kickass when it came to handling a gun. Only Jayden wasn’t aware of it at the time. “Chloe isn’t. She’s a kindergarten teacher who has no desire to do our job.”
“So what? You can’t handle the idea of losing her, so you’ll give up everything instead?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“C’mon, everyone knows you’re in love with Chloe.” His gaze takes in my expression. “Okay, let me rephrase that. Everyone but you and Chloe knows you’re in love with her.”
“It’s complicated.”
He laughs, startling a bird in a nearby tree. It squawks in protest. I know how it feels.
“Complicated is the code word for coward. Everyone who is scared of love plays the ‘complicated’ ”—he air-quotes the word—“card. But it’s just bullshit.”
“Wow, tell me what you’re really thinking.”
“I couldn’t handle the thought of her dying. So I figured it was better to not love than to risk losing her. I was wrong.”
“Yes, but I’m not. I lost someone I loved. I wasn’t there for her when she needed me. She died. End of story.”
Clearly, Jayden doesn’t agree with me on the last part. “It’s not the end of the story. What happened in the past is exactly that…in the past. You can’t be chickenshit when it comes to love just because you’re afraid of losing the person. It means living each day as though it might be her last, making sure each one counts and isn’t wasted.”
“Shit, what Hallmark card did you steal that from?”
He slaps me on the shoulder, grinning. “What can I say? Love makes you profound.”
31
Chloe
Some people hate Christmas shopping. They hate the crowds, and they hate trying to find the perfect gift.
They prefer shopping online and getting it all done with a click of the mouse.